Death of a Phantom, Birth of Erik
by Hot4Gerry
Summary: Leaving France would save his life. Perhaps life at sea would save his soul. Erik, once a phantom and ghost, now he must live as a heartbroken man. Life at sea is hard, the men just as hard. Will Erik find friendship and acceptance among these hardbitten?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:I need some laughs so I am posting a story I wrote long ago and thought at the time was really good. Through the years I do believe I am improved and honed my craft a bit since the early days. For fun I am putting this story up in its raw form. Hack away at me I do it to myself every time I read one of my earlier works. There are others I'll be putting up before I post a serious story. Since they are for laughs I'll try to post each day or at least every other day. Have a good laugh and tell me what you think. **

**Death of a Phantom, Birth of Erik **

**Chapter One**

**Searching the Soul**

Erik awoke to yet another day. Today would be the same as the routinely dull dreariness since he had left the opera house burning from his last glorious attempt to claim that which he thought should have been his.

With each passing day he felt his body and mind begin to heal in little increments. He felt his heart would forever remain shattered. No amount of time seemed long enough to ease the pain. Hours drifting slowly by like sand in an hour glass marked time until his end would near. One agonizing moment after another passed as he moved through his days without really absorbing much of what went on around him.

They say a person can die of a broken heart but no such relief came to Erik. As much as he would welcome the relief of death he still clung to this pitiful existence. Each day he hoped to move closer to his end but alas he seemed to grow stronger of body every day.

The constant ache in his chest that was the ache of his broken heart was so great it had to end his life. How could one survive with such constant reminders of an egregious loss day after day?

Three weeks have past since this slow death of spirit if not his body had began. The descent of his soul to hell had begun many years ago. The final push to the fires of hell had been his love for Christine and his wish to have what other men have. A love of a lifetime. A wife and a family. To live as a man and not a ghost. An apparition that lived five cellars down underneath the opera house in Paris held no appeal for him in the end. He wanted to not live as an animal burrowed deep within the earth. He wanted to live in the daylight as a man. To have a house of brick, wood and mortar. Not the hard cold walls of his home beneath The Paris Opera House.

Erik was such a pathetic creature he was ashamed to admit he could not remember his full name. He had been known for twenty years as The Opera Ghost or by some as The Phantom of the Opera. He had searched his memory and vaguely remembered when Nadir had called him Erik. He could not remember any last name. When asked by Father Joshua what he should call him he picked a name from a book he held in his hand. Marcus. He left all his former identities in Paris. He was no ghost or phantom. He was no longer even Erik. He was simply Marcus.

The ghostly figure who haunted the opera house was but a poor tortured soul left too long alone without a true connection to the world and the other human inhabitants. A soul twisted with love and jealousy for a young woman who had stolen the heart of this tortured and lonely man. He had sold his soul to the devil trying to win her.

He tried not to think of the night three weeks ago. To think of it was to feel the searing pain of loss. The loss of Christine and the loss of his home. The end of his world. Nearly the end of his life. Although who would mourn the loss of one monster from this world? Not one among many would miss him. Not one tear would be shed for his demise. If he had not alienated Madame Giry entirely she may feel a moment of sorrow at his passing. Perhaps Little Meg Giry might also have a kind thought for him.

Little Meg Giry. If not for her bravery when following him in the tunnels he may well have given into the call of the darkness. Meg had brought him here to this monastery to heal in mind and soul. He had cared for nothing. In his agony he only wanted to die. To ease this horrible twisting in his soul, which never eased. Christine had left him a broken and grieving man. Grieving for a love he would never have. A life he could never live as others did.

Perhaps he only got out of life what he deserved. His sins were many. It was true many had sinned against him but his were by far the greater evil. He would have done anything to have Christine. In the end his ultimate sin of murder had gained him nothing but Christine's pity while earning his rival Raoul's scorn and hatred.

Meg had told him that Christine loved him and would not want him to die. Her love was not the love of a woman for a man but as the man who had sacrificed so much for her. He had taught her and comforted her all her years at the opera. From the first night he had come to her and sang the poor grieving child to sleep. She would want him to find a life for himself and find peace and happiness.

As they had crawled out of the tunnel Meg had left him to find her mother. Bringing Madame to help her it had been decided to take him out of Paris far away from Christine and temptation. Antoinette had given Meg the directions and a letter to give to Father Joshua when she arrived.

With one last good-bye Meg had left him in the hands of the priests. If Erik had any interest in life he would have scoffed at being placed in the care of such Godly men when his own soul had been black as sin from the time of his birth he had always thought.

The agony of his nightmares for the sins he had committed haunted his sleep. For years his nightmares had been of the torture he suffered at the hands of his mother then later at the hands of the cruel Gypsies. In later years his nightmares were filled with the faces of his victims in Persia. The faces of his victims came to him the moment he closed his eyes. They asked questions he had no clear answers for. How does one tell someone that they lost their life because he was insane with envy or pride, love and jealousy? How do you justify creating torture chambers for the slaughter of both the guilty and the innocent? He no longer allowed himself to think of that twisted evil ruler in Persia. The son had been bad enough but the mother had more darkness in her soul than Erik ever had even at his most insane moments.

Luckily the fire had not caused as much damage as it could have. The trap that the Vicomte Raoul de Chagny had set for him had almost succeeded. The gendarmes had been ready to shoot him on sight at the sign from Christine. The fire brigade had been on standby due to the fact that the house had been full that night. The hundreds of theatre goers and opera house employees numbered in the thousands. Every man had been called in that night. Erik had wondered that night if he should have been flattered by the hundred or more men chomping at the bit for his blood.

Erik had not been as clever as he thought he was. Father Joshua had told him there would be no need for false identities within the walls of this holy place. When asked how Father Joshua had known, the man had laughed then calmly stated, he was a man of the cloth which blinded him to the sins of others to be judged not by him but God but it did not make him deaf or blind to gossip or newspapers. Somewhat shamed for this subterfuge Erik dropped his newly acquired name. He still had no surname but Father Joshua said they would think on the problem together. Something would come to them if it was God's will.

Erik had asked Father Joshua to forgive him for all he had done. His sins were many. More than he cared to remember. Father Joshua told Erik that his forgiveness would come from God if in his heart he was truly repentant for his misdeeds. All he could do was help guide Erik on his path to forgiveness. Forgiveness was not a lowly priest's purpose. Only the Supreme Being had that power. If one asked forgiveness with a truth and conviction in their heart it would be granted. Every man who repented was granted entrance into heaven. God knew what was in the hearts of man. God would know if one were not truly repentant.

The guilt of Erik's crimes would haunt him to some degree for the rest of his life. He hoped for a very short life. This pain was too great to suffer for a long lifetime. He felt as if he had suffered since the moment he took his first breath. He knew for certain his mother wished him to feel pain. She had hated him. Her dearest wish was for him to die in infancy. To her sorrow he had been a remarkably healthy baby. His mind was that of a true genius. His intellect frightened her. She thought because he was so advanced he must be possessed of some evil. His horrid face only compounded her fears.

Erik saw the pain on the faces of the people who came to the monastery, the poor farmers and townspeople from the area. Many were ill and came for what comfort the priests could give them. Others came for food and shelter just as he had. All came for the peace found within the walls of this holy place. A peace Erik had never had in all his years on this earth.

Sighing tiredly he got out of bed not wanting to think anymore. The haunting screams of the people in the opera house chased away his ability to sleep for more than a couple of hours a night. This night was no exception. Having lain awake for many hours he decided it was time to part company with his unwelcoming bed. Sleep being an elusive commodity he made the decision to put an end to the tortuous tossing and turning and find the relief he sought in the new day. Hopefully his thoughts would be free of his recent tragedy. To think brought on fresh wounds in his heart that bleed with each tortured memory. The pain in his chest had become so terrible as to feel as if a hand had reached into his very chest squeezing tightly. The guilt of his misdeeds felt like a ton of bricks lay on his chest.

He needed the sun on his face. A healing warmth and brightness he had been denied for much of his life. Darkness had been the comforting blanket that hid his deformed face from the cruel stares and shrieks of the frightened populace. The darkness had always wrapped around him like the comforting arms of a loved one.

In the weeks since Erik had been here he had not worn the mask. Father Joshua had persuaded him to let his skin breathe. The many open sores were beginning to heal. The mask irritated his skin as it rubbed against his flesh constantly. The sweat and constant rubbing caused the skin to break out in rashes and sores. The oozing had never stopped in all the years he lived under the opera house. He could count on one hand the number of days he had been without his mask. It had become such a source of comfort over the years he could barely stand to be without it. As much as he hated it at the same time he needed it to feel secure. Without it he was poor pathetic Erik. When he wore it he was the powerful and commanding Phantom of the Opera. The Opera Ghost. Feared by all.

He needed to work with his hands. His music was no longer the mistress of his mind and soul. He no longer felt the lure of its loving embrace in his soul. Not one note of his beloved companion flowed from his fingers. The physical labor working in the garden kept Erik's mind busy and his body fit while keeping him from pondering his loss to often. Those first days he had felt the abandonment of his music acutely.

He wished he could find something that would remove the memory of Christine from his mind so he could sleep without having to relive watching her leave with Raoul. At times he wanted to take a knife and cut the memories out. Rid himself of the haunting recollections of the one person he had taken a chance to open his heart to only to be betrayed and exposed in front of all of Paris as a deformed monster. Less than human had been how they perceived him. At times he still prayed for death. A prayer as yet unanswered. He was too much of a coward to take his own life so he lived on with never-ending ache.

Erik hadn't died as he wanted. Another wish denied him in a long life of things denied first to the child then the man behind the mask. His miserable sorrowful life continued. He had to find a way to live with what he had done and learn how to be alone again. For so many years his whole focus had been Christine and his music. Now he was without both. No notes danced across his mind. His fingers didn't ache to play the music that had sustained him for so many years.

He asked himself what more he could have done to make Christine love him. He had taught her how to make her voice soar to heaven to equal the angels. He had given Madame financial aid so Christine would not want for anything. He had comforted her in her grief for her father.

His temper had always frightened her. He never meant the mean things he said when his anger got the best of his good sense. He had frightened her and caused her to turn away from him to another. Erik's anger at the world had boiled over inside him when he learned that Christine loved Raoul. He now knew that his obsession with Christine and his music had driven him to the point of insanity. His love had been so strong and demanding it had blocked all reason from his mind. Because he had no other thing in his life, no other way to express his emotions he put the entire range of emotions he was feeling into the two things he loved most. His music and Christine.

He didn't know if he could ever atone for what he had done, but he would try. Erik did all that the priests asked of him. He helped wherever he was needed. He toiled within the walls of the monastery doing all that was required of him. No task was too trivial or too demeaning.

Gradually as time passed Erik began to accept that he could not change the past. He could only ask for forgiveness and do the best he could in the future to not repeat his mistakes. He had to look for a future. He had to build a new life. God had seen fit to let him live for some reason and he had to search for his purpose in this life.

At times his loneliness almost overwhelmed him. When he couldn't stand the loneliness any longer he would work. It didn't matter that he got up in the middle of the night and walked the grounds completing jobs left undone at the end of the day. He looked for things to occupy his mind.

He had thought he might join the monastery but his soul was too black to wear the cloth of a holy man. His black deeds couldn't be washed white enough to wear the holy clothe of a man of God. He marveled the monastery walls did not fall down around them to have his demon born soul under this hallowed protective shield.

He often wondered why God had played such a horrible trick on him. Giving him a face his own mother hid beneath a mask from his first breath but so many talents and gifts he could bestow upon humanity. That one small part of the man that was flawed ruled his whole life. For that ruined side of his face Erik had hidden in darkness away from all those who lived their lives in light.

There had been a time when Erik didn't believe in God or any holy deity. If there were a God he was a cruel and evil icon. What sort of good and kind deity would let an innocent child be born with a face touched by angels on one side and demons evil hands on the other? Why give him music that came so easily from his mind to fingers then to paper? His voice would have suited any opera stage in the world. Women would have fallen at his feet. If his face had matched his voice he could have lived as a man instead of as a ghost. Something less than human. A mere phantom who had only been seen in shadowy glimpses.

Father Joshua had told him that since there wasn't any evidence and no one had a clear description of him, for Raoul and Christine had refused to testify and left shortly afterwards to marry and live in England, for all intents and purposes Erik was a free man. Since there was no solid proof of his crimes and his connection to them he could leave at any time. No one would stop him. He was a free man in body even if his spirit was still held hostage to his past.

The fact that he had no place to go kept him from making the final step to leave and go his own way, alone as always. What was there in the world for him except what had always been there for the last thirty years? Torment, rejection and ridicule. He wanted no part of that world any longer. He never wanted to have to bury himself below ground like a burrowing animal.

Each night he made a silent prayer. _Please God, if I am to be alone, remove the hurt. Let me not miss what I have lost quite so much. Send me to a place where I can be at peace with the sins I have committed. Take some of the pain from my heart and let my memories fade quickly._

As always when his thoughts returned to Christine he put his hand in his pocket to clasp the ring that Christine had given back to him. When he held it he was reminded that for him there was no happy ending no happily ever after. It reminded him that his was a face that would only inspire fear or pity. His mother couldn't love him why should anyone else? He didn't even love himself. He was a loathsome creature.

He hadn't died from his broken heart but he was afraid he had lost his soul to the darkness that he had lived in for all those years. A darkness that had gone so deep that it had caused him to plunge into insanity. His only thoughts had been to seek revenge and take Christine with him. Erik's hurt at what he thought was her betrayal made him forget that she was the one person who had been there for him for all those years other than Antoinette. She couldn't help but turn to Raoul. Raoul didn't frighten her. He had given her the safety and protection of his loving arms.

Erik hadn't meant to frighten her. He had wanted only to love her and have her with him always. Erik had tried to control her with the power of his music. In the end her love for Raoul had been stronger than his power over her. She had once been willing to hear his music and sing his songs. Then in his madness he had caused her to turn from him and seek another. His anger was his greatest enemy in his war to win the love of another.

Father Joshua told him that in time the pain would lesson. He felt that a lifetime wasn't long enough to rid himself of all the pain in his heart. He knew that to dwell on his losses was dangerous for him. His wounds were too fresh to think of what might have been his except for the curse of his face. He shouted curses at the God who had let him live with this face.

Father Joshua was concerned for Erik. If ever there was a man who needed faith it was Erik. The man was a lost soul wandering without direction. If left too long he could be lost to the blackness that was just beneath the surface waiting to take over and destroy what was left of the man Erik was supposed to be. He had lost his way and Father Joshua was determined to provide the lantern for him to navigate through the darkness in his soul.

At times Erik would raise his hand and touch his lips remembering the kisses Christine had given to him. The first touch of a woman's lips had been in good-bye. Her sweet mouth had touched his foul monstrous lips. She had willing placed her lips on his.

Even if it was in pity he loved her all the more for touching him in such a sweet way. Her lips were the only lips to touch his. Her soft hands on his face were the only pair of hands to touch him without delivering stinging slaps or doubled fists pounding against his face. The scars on his back were the evidence of the kind of touching Erik had grown accustomed to. A lash across his back by his Gypsy master had torn his skin many times leaving so many crisscrossing marks they looked like lines of a map.

Many nights in his dreams Erik relived those kisses and his mind would fanaticize about all the things he could never dream to have in reality. Those dreams left him feeling more alone than ever because they ended in the nightmare of his life. A nightmare that remained all too real.

He knew that he would never feel the soft caress of a woman's lips again. Never know the loving touch of a woman. Never know what it felt like to possess and be possessed by someone who loved him. No love in his life, just long years of wanting things that could never be.

Some nights he cursed the God that had given him this burden. He often wondered what purpose he was supposed to serve. So far the only result of his affliction was pain and destruction.

He wanted so much to see Christine. He thought that if he could just see her and get her forgiveness maybe he could face the lonely years ahead. He wasn't allowed even this solace. His prayers went unanswered as his prayers always had. Not once in his life had the things he prayed for been his. It seemed as though God had abandoned him even when he was in his mother's womb.

Father Joshua told him that perhaps God's answer was "No" because he knew that Erik had suffered enough and Christine wasn't the one God had planned for him. Erik found it hard to believe God had any plan for him to have that one person who fit the other half of his soul. Father Joshua said that sometimes the answer we receive isn't the answer we want.

This God that Father Joshua spoke of must be the cruelest of beings. He let this monster he was be born and gave him no one to show him how to love. Not love as most people knew it. His love had been destructive not nurturing.

Perhaps the gypsies were right when they called him the Devil's Child. Erik felt as if he had lost his soul when he had given in to the dark forces that had driven him.

In his need to have Christine he had paid the price of his soul. He had given everything and gotten nothing in return. That he was a figure to be feared he knew. He hadn't even been called by his given name in all the years he was growing up in the opera house. He was only known as the menacing dark ghost that haunted the back stage and would get you if you let your guard down. The Phantom of the Opera or Opera Ghost. He had truly been like a ghost living in the shadows slipping through the corridors unseen and unheard unless he wanted to give a ballet rat or a stagehand a fright.

Erik had gradually come to trust Father Joshua enough to tell him what little he knew about himself. He told of his mother's neglect but most of all her hatred of him. She had hated him so much that she couldn't even stand to have his name on her lips. She blamed him for having lost her husband. She told him that his father even denied him. He didn't want to be a father to a hideous monster that looked as if he were a demon from hell.

Erik had never even seen his father. The night he was born his father had left him and his mother and never returned. He had left a defenseless child with a woman who wished he had died at birth. The woman who instilled in him that he was undeserving of love or even affection. Erik had learned as a small child to fend for himself. He ate what scraps his mother left and stole clothing to cover his small body. Why she hadn't left him to starve as an infant he never knew. Maybe she thought even God would punish her if she took his life. So instead she had gotten rid of him by giving him over to the gypsies.

That hadn't been a physical death but a death of his innocence and the beginning of the darkness that was to take over when he was a lost and lonely man.

Erik was unaware that perhaps God did have a plan for him. He was to set him on a course that would change his life. Erik just needed to be ready to accept what was to come. He did not know that fate had decided he had suffered enough. The small boy who had committed no sins and the man who had committed many more were to have the chance for the kind of life they both wanted.

Erik just had to have the courage to trust yet another woman. To open himself up to the possibility that he could inspire love. A love so deep that she saw the man behind the mask he wore to hide from the world.

Erik's fate would be put in his own hands. He could either decide to open his heart again to love or live in the safety of loneliness.

With guidance from Father Joshua he found the forgiveness he sought. Maybe not the forgiveness of man, but the forgiveness within himself and of a God his good friend Father Joshua assured him did exist.

Father Joshua watched as Erik worked in the garden. It was early spring and things were just beginning to bloom. He had a plan for Erik. Erik needed a new purpose in life. Something that would keep him from dwelling on his loss and the pain he felt.

If things worked as Father Joshua wanted, Erik would be leaving the country and heading for a new life.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: It is so hard to post these chapters even though I know I am only doing it for fun. I want to go in and correct and change everything that is wrong but I won't. I said I wanted honest opinions and that is what I am getting. **

**Chapter Two**

**Voyage of Discovery**

The lone figure stood at the rail of the ship. He was deep in thought. He had much to keep his mind occupied. He was a tall lonely figure. Standing about six feet two with broad shoulders one would think him a fine figure of a man. In the dark he looked rather menacing. The mask he wore made him look even more frightening. He dared not show his face without it. He knew what people thought of him and so he hid behind the mask.

The mask was a barrier between him and the world that had shown him no compassion. He had no wish to endure any more rejection from anyone. He had suffered all his life because of a face that God had made so horrible that his own mother had turned from him and in the end, his beloved Christine had turned from him also.

If he was never to find a woman to share his life with at least he might find friendship among the crew he would work beside for the next few months. They were not as particular as most about how one looked.

The gentle rocking of the ship was soothing to Erik. This was his first night aboard. The quiet of the night allowed his mind to go back over the past six months. He remembered all that had happened to him that last night he was in his home, The Paris Opera House. He could remember Christine and not feel the killing pain he felt before.

Did he still agonize over his loss? Of course he did. He had just learned to put her memories in the deepest part of him where he only allowed himself to bring them out in his lonely hours at night. He allowed himself his dreams. Without dreams a person had no hope for the future. Dreams for the betterment of a person's status in life pushed a person to strive and achieve something slightly more than what one had in the beginning.

If it had not been for Meg, he might have died that night. More than likely he would have been found and killed by the mob hunting him down. If not by them he could not help but think perhaps as time passed he would have found the courage to end it all. Erik could now be truly thankful to her. Before, he had cursed her for saving him. She had come after him and given him his mask. Erik knew that it was not healthy to let such a small scrap of leather define who he was but for so long that was his only barrier from those who mocked him or threatened him. Father Joshua had finally allowed him this one concession before he left the safety of the monastery's walls.

Meg had gone with him to the monastery. Antoinette would have taken him but at the time she was under suspicion as everyone knew of her connection to the Opera Ghost. Meg had asked them to give him sanctuary and they had. Her last words to him were much as Christine had said to him. He needed to look into his soul and heal himself. He realized that much of his torment was because he had hidden himself away from the world. No one could see the man behind his disfigured face because he never allowed himself to be seen as anything other than a ghost or phantom. Now would be the time to show himself as a man.

The abuse and ridicule he had suffered as a child had made it easier to hide away than face yet another rejection.

Erik had not been willing to leave everything that he had come to know as his home. Only for Christine would he have left the safety of his underground home. The home that he now knew was more prison than a sanctuary from the entire world that had treated him so cruelly. Cruelty that had started with the mother who was supposed to love and protect him and continued for many years until the inevitable end had come with the destruction of his whole world.

As a small child he had been put on display for the people to laugh at, call him horrible names and some had even spit upon him. He was beaten nightly. He had learned that he had to endure pain and never expect love or even kindness. That is until Madame Giry had taken Erik away from his torment. Erik had thought that he would die in that miserable place.

Through the years, he had listened to the music and learned how to make a world of his own through the music he heard in his head. Until Christine had come, he had no one with whom he could share the wondrous melodies he heard in his head.

When Christine had come to him, he had thought that she was an angel sent to him to share his passion for music and save him from the solitude he had lived in for many years. He could not contain his emotions after he heard her sing. Everything he felt for Christine he had written in his music. When he first heard her sing, he knew she was the one who would give voice to the songs he would write.

Through the years, he had taught her how to use her voice to make the beautiful sounds that made his heart hers.

As her voice grew more beautiful so did she. That he should fall in love with her was inevitable. She gave him a glimpse of what life was like in the world of light. He knew he could not be with her in that world so he had wanted her to share his.

He had asked too much of her. She had fallen in love with Raoul. That young whelp had won her heart within a span of a few hours and Erik had been wooing her for years. The unfairness of it drove Erik mad with jealousy to see them show their love with open demonstrations of affection.

The night she had declared her love for Raoul had been the beginning of Erik's decent into a madness that had caused him to take lives and destroy the place he had called home for most of his life. He had nearly ended his life that night. His one place in the world that had given him refuge was gone. His one connection to the world he had cherished most, his beloved opera house, gone forever.

He had felt so lost during all those months of his recovery. There was no place for him in this cruel world. His one chance to have someone share his life had been taken away.

The priests at the monastery had helped him to heal his body and his soul, especially Father Joshua. The first weeks he had barely eaten or talked to anyone. Gradually Father Joshua had made him see that he could not change what he had done but he could try to live his life so that he made the world better for having him in it. Father Joshua had told him many times that sometimes it is the smallest thing that has the greatest effect on the world and the people in it.

He had told Erik that someday his music would return to him and he could share his gift with the world. The world needed the beauty of his songs and the music he wrote.

Father Joshua was the first person since he was a child who had called him by his given name, Erik. Together he and the good father had come up with a proper surname. Since Erik felt such gratitude toward his friend Erik had asked to use the priests surname as his own. Erik with no surname became Erik Fournier.

Erik had spent many hours working in the gardens of the monastery. The sun had felt wonderful on his face. He had truly begun to enjoy his stay within those holy walls. He had not wanted to go but Father Joshua had told him now would be a good time to start fresh somewhere out in the real world, a prospect which had intrigued as well as frightened Erik.

Erik had slowly healed and began to feel as if he could make a life for himself. Father Joshua had told him that somewhere in the world there was a place for him. He just needed to find it.

The priests had heard of the ship that was to leave for England. The captain of the ship was a friend of Father Joshua.

Captain Sinclair had agreed that Erik could come with them when they set sail. He would have to work to pay for his passage. That had been agreeable to Erik. What choice did he have as things were here in France? One day he would have to leave the monastery. Sooner or later someone would equate his masked visage with that of the Phantom the authorities had said destroyed the opera house and abducted the diva.

His years of climbing through the opera house had made it easy for him to climb the ropes and mast. Captain Sinclair had been impressed enough to take Erik on as a shipmate.

Father Joshua had told Erik that he had told Captain Sinclair of his past. Most of the crew were either running from some crime they had committed or from personal demons. The captain himself had barely escaped the hangman's noose.

When he was a young man he had fought with a man over a woman. He had killed the man. It had been self defense but the powers that be had taken their time to clear him.

Luckily for him there were many witnesses. The woman he had fought over was to become his wife and the mother of his only child, Samantha. The Captain had told Erik that his daughter preferred to be called Sam.

Erik hadn't seen Sam as of yet. He had been told that she helped in the galley and cleaning below deck. She could even tend to the injured when the need arose.

He prayed that he would find what he needed here aboard this ship. He needed this chance to feel a part of the world. He would not let himself become a ghost again but neither did he wish to remain alone.

When he boarded he had seen many of the crew. Many had scars, some almost as bad as his own. It had been a boon to Erik to note that the men had not bated an eye to see him wearing the mask. Not one word of ridicule or fright had passed their lips.

With one last look at the night sky Marcus made his way below deck and to the bunk that was to be his until they reached England. Captain Sinclair had told him that he could decide if he wanted to stay with them before they left England for America. Erik thought he knew what his decision would be, but he had yet to meet the next woman that would cause great changes and upheaval in his life.

Erik took one last deep breath of fresh air and decided he should go below and try to sleep. Tomorrow he would start his new life among the people who lived and worked in the light of day. For now it would be his world also.

Erik knew his life had changed, but, he did not know that his life was set on a course that could bring him his greatest joy or his deepest sorrow. How he dealt with the events ahead would decide his fate.

He made his way below deck and found the bunk that was to be his. The other men were already asleep. He quietly removed his clothes and slid beneath the covers. He had decided it would be better if he left his mask on. No sense exposing others to a sight he couldn't stand himself.

In his sleep that night he dreamed the dreams he always did. They were always about Christine and the life he had thought to share with her. In his dreams he could have what he could not have in reality. In his dreams he was a man as other men were . No need for the mask. In his dreams his face was perfect. In his dreams Christine loved him.

He woke in the middle of the night as he often did and prayed for morning. He wanted to start his new life. It wouldn't be the start of the new life with Christine , but a life that was better than he had ever had before.

He drifted into sleep again and this time his sleep was uninterrupted by dreams. At least not any that he could remember when he awoke the next morning.

If he was to have any sort of life he would have to give up his dream of having Christine. That dream was over. He had to learn the hard lesson again that he was born into this world to be alone.

His face insured that he would always be alone. Humans were not meant to live alone. They needed love and companionship. He had to find a place in the world where he could live among others and regain the humanity he had lost when he had given into sin and bargained his soul to the Devil. He hoped that his time here in this place of healing would ease the guilt he felt and give him back a small piece of his soul.

It was hard giving up on a dream, especially when you had so little. Sometimes he felt that his dreams were all he would ever have.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Oh what a fun time this is. Looking back and reading this I find I want to change and rewrite almost every paragraph. Repetition was a big problem, one I tried very hard to conquer and think for the most part I have. Every once in while its evil head rises. Thanks for all the honest reviews. If I had posted these years ago and got the same criticism I am getting now I may well have quite writing altogether or at least sharing it with anyone. **

**Timeflies made the comment about Erik/Marcus. Originally I called my character Marcus as at that time I had only seen the movie and did not know what his name was. I had gone back and changed some of the Marcus' to Erik but may have missed a few. JackieLu and Mommaduckjudy couldn't help but notice how often I repeat things in my paragraphs. Let 'er rip. Won't hurt my feelings as I know how amatuerish this story is. **

**Chapter Three**

**Yearning and Learning **

The stirring of the other men woke Erik the next morning. He was glad to escape from the dreams that still came to him. He still dreamed of Christine. They came less frequently now, but some nights they came to him and they seemed so real that he felt all the pain again.

Erik had met most of the crew last night when he had boarded. They had been friendly. No one had shown any horror when they met him. Of course they didn't see all that was hidden by the mask. Erik also assumed that since some of them sported quite a few noticeable scars themselves they would be less inclined to take note of his even if he went barefaced. Perhaps in time he may gain the courage to walk about without his mask.

Erik followed the others to the galley. He took an empty seat next to Nate. Nate was Captain Sinclair's first officer. He was perhaps in his fifties. It was hard to tell the ages of the men who had spent their lives in the sun and wind. Their faces were weathered and held all the experience of the hard life they lived at sea.

Erik had barely sat in his seat when as one the men rose to their feet. He didn't know why until he saw her, the Captain's daughter. She was beautiful. Different from Christine in that Christine had been all dark allure. Samantha was golden. That was the thought that came to him when he first saw her. She had golden hair that was pulled back from her face and confined in a long braid that hung down her back reaching her waist. For a woman who spent her life aboard ship she had smooth skin that was only slightly browned by the sun. It was not acceptable in most circles for a woman to have anything other than porcelain white skin. Christine's had been perfectly tinted with just a hint of pink in her cheeks.

Erik watched as Samantha took her seat at her father's side. Once she had been seated her father said the blessing for their meal. When he finished he began to introduce Erik to those who had not met him the night before. Samantha was last to greet him.

"Erik as you probably guessed this is my daughter, Samantha. She prefers to be called Sam much to my dislike," her father could not resist pointing out.

"Pleasure to meet you. I hope you enjoy your time with us. Did you sleep comfortably last night?" Sam was not pleased at all in reality. This man had taken the position she had hoped to fill. Her father allowed her to help on deck sometimes but if she had an official title she could then leave the galley and be up above more often. She enjoyed helping out in the galley but her real love was being out in the open air with the wind bringing the fresh ocean scent with every caressing breeze.

"Yes, thank you," Erik said awkwardly. He did not feel at ease with everyone directing their attention toward him. He had never held a real conversation with a woman before. He had rarely even spoken to men. Most of his communication with Antoinette had been through notes. Erik felt relief wash over him when nothing further seemed to be expected from him.

Conversation then turned to what everyone had done when they were in Paris. The stories were edited a bit in the retelling because of Sam.

The crew was very protective of Sam. Many had been on the ship as long as she had, some had been on board longer. They knew she resented the fact that they treated her differently than they treated each other. She wanted them to think of her as an equal, but, it was hard to think of Sam as anything other than a beautiful young woman. They had learned ways to make it seem as though they weren't watching over her, but they did with hawk like precision.

"Father, may I help out up top today? Please?" Sam asked. She hoped the advent of another man on board did not get her consigned to the galley for the whole of this voyage.

Her father knew that if he didn't say yes she would continue to badger him until he finally gave in. His daughter was an extremely stubborn woman so as many times before he gave in thereby saving time. Everyone exchanged the same look that they had shared since Sam was a small child begging to be allowed to help with the many tasks that needed to be done to keep the ship running smoothly. Although an accomplished sailor, Sam was still a woman and one they had watched grow up. They would not dare to try to usurp her father's place but they did think of themselves as watchful uncles or in the case of the younger ones a brother.

"Finish what needs to be done in the galley and Nate will tell you where you can help," said her father. He gave his daughter a fond glance. Other than this ship and his men, Sam was one of the few things in life that he cared for. He would dearly love to see her settled in a happy marriage with children. Grandchildren were one of God's blessings when one grew older.

Erik had observed this exchange in silence. His eyes had hardly left Samantha's face. He couldn't help but compare her to Christine. She was different from Christine in many ways. He had thought he had control of the part of him that reacted the same as any man to a beautiful woman. He had deceived himself. His body's reaction to Samantha proved the fact that he was not immune to other women's charms. He had hoped after the debacle with Christine that all those useless yearnings had been driven from him. He would have to be certain that he avoided her as much as he could. He had no wish to enter into another hell of wanting a woman and knowing that he would never have her. To know that she was with her lover each night and being held in his arms created its own sort of hell. No, he had no wish to enter that inferno again.

When they left the galley Nate told him what he needed to do and helped him learn how to do the things that would be his responsibility to complete each day. Erik took to sailing with his usual aptitude of learning. Not many things came hard for Erik to learn.

Music had come to him quite easily. The talent had always been there it had just needed the opera house atmosphere to bring his creativity to light. It had not hurt that Erik had been able to observe practices and performances.

His never-ending quest for knowledge would not let him rest on his laurels. As soon as one thing had been conquered his mind demanded the challenge to learn something new.

For a time he lost himself in his tasks. He began to feel better than he had in many months perhaps in many years. He enjoyed the day so much that he had for a short time been able to think of things other than the pain of his losses and enjoy just being alive. Erik lifted his face to the sun enjoying the warming rays beating down on him. Rarely had he partaken of the joys of daylight hours.

Only a handful of moments in Erik's life had been close to true bliss. Those glimpses had been rare and far between. Even with Christine things had not been emotionally satisfactory. When she had been younger possibly things had been as near to true happiness as he had known it.

Most of his life had been simply moving from one day to another with little expectations for any joy being given to him. He had accepted his lot in life, until Christine had begun to change as all little girls eventually do. He had tried his utmost not to think of her in terms of being a woman.

Over time he found his lustful intentions gaining the upper hand. Not having any other focus for his reawakened desires Erik had given into those raw yearnings he felt for Christine. As those yearnings turned to love Erik began to obsess more and more about Christine and what he wanted from her. Music alone could not satisfy him wholly any longer.

His longings for what other men had in the end cost him everything. He would not put himself through that again. Better to die a man of chaste virtue than risk such debasement and hurt again.

Erik saw Samantha as soon as she stepped on the deck. It was as though he had been waiting for her to come. He chided himself for so soon forgetting his admonitions to himself only moments ago.

Her hair looked even more golden in the sunlight. Why she insisted to be called the masculine name, Sam he couldn't understand. There was nothing masculine about her. As he thought this his eyes were traveling over her many curves and her smooth skin that showed where her men's trousers and men's shirt did not conceal. Once she was close enough he could see her eyes were a sky blue. Not the darker blue of an evening sky but the light blue of a clear summer day.

Samantha came and sat beside him where Erik was coiling ropes that were not in use at this time. The instant she sat down his body froze not obeying his command to carry on as if she did not have every fiber in his being at attention by her nearness.

As she sat she took a rope and began to coil it she asked casually, "So how do you like it so far? Isn't it marvelous? Isn't it grand to be able to look up at any time and see the sky above and not be closed in by four walls?"

Sam frowned at her words. Marvelous? Grand? She sounded like some simpering maiden sitting in someone's parlor. Why was she trying so hard to impress upon Erik that she was not some uneducated moron who only knew about life at sea and nothing else?

"Yes, Samantha it is. I have never seen so much sky at once. He didn't tell her that he had hardly ever seen the outside world. His moments in the sunlight could be counted with the fingers upon each hand.

"Sam. My name is Sam." Sam loved her given name Samantha but felt being feminine and having a feminine name only pointed out the fact that she lived in a man's world where men were the supreme beings, at least as far as society dictated.

Erik's slip had given Sam the reminder she needed that although she found him interesting and attractive men were not on her list of priorities. She must be sure to avoid him as much as possible. Sam considered him a threat to her plans of one day being Captain of her father's ship.

She threw the rope she had onto the deck and left him without another word. Erik was confused. He didn't know what he had done to make her so angry and abrupt.

"Erik," said Nate, "you'll learn like the rest of us that Sam is a bit touchy at times. She tries so hard to be like the son she thinks her father wants. All her life she has tried to be as tough as any of the men. She doesn't hesitate to take on any task that a man would do. We've all learned ways to protect her from herself without making it seem as though we were giving her special treatment."

When Erik remained silent Nate continued, "You'll learn as we all did that to let Sam know you are thinking of her in terms of being female is to invite her wrath. There isn't a young man among us who hasn't at one time hankered after Sam. She set them all to rights once she learned of their feelings. She'd not have them thinking about her in that light.

Living on a ship it could make for some uncomfortable moments if emotions ran amuck. We've all learned to look upon Sam as either a sister or niece, whichever suits you best."

Erik couldn't decide if Nate had been just enlightening him to how he could handle Sam as a shipmate or warning how he should and should not treat her.

This new world Erik found himself in was confusing to him. Before he had only himself to be concerned about and now there were so many other lives that were connected to him. He was connected. Never before had his interactions with people been face to face on a daily basis. His life had been built on notes and threats as well as acting on those threats. It felt good to have others in his life, but it also unsettled him. What did he know of living among others? Nothing really. His life had been primarily lived alone.

What if he failed in his attempt to be as other men were? Where would he go or what would he do? How many chances did a man get in this life to redeem himself?

"Thank you Nate. I'll try to remember to call her Sam, but it is hard. I can see nothing about her that speaks of her as anything less than being a woman."

Nate's next words settled any confusion about whether or not Nate intended this conversation to be a threat.

"We've all had to try to forget Sam is a woman. That is another reason I wish to speak to you. Sam forgets sometimes that she is aboard ship with many men who are not her brother or her father. You just need to remember that if you step out of line with her there isn't a man here that wouldn't cut your heart out and feed it to the sharks. Remember this and you'll do fine." He then slapped him on the back and left Erik to think over all that Nate had said to him.

Erik had already decided that he would avoid Samantha. For his own peace of mind he had to keep her at a distance. Over the next few days he had no trouble avoiding Samantha because it seemed she wanted to avoid him as well. If she saw him in her path she would hastily make a detour to another part of the ship. The looks she gave him were not the looks he had endured all his life. Fear, disgust, or ridicule. Those looks he was used to and recognized.

What he saw in Samantha's eyes seemed as if she disliked him without any hate or fear fueling her dislike. He hadn't seen those other emotions in her face that usually came after someone saw him. Maybe he didn't want to see those emotions in her eyes. For all that Nate had told him and his own admonitions to himself, Erik could not keep Samantha in her role as a shipmate of a non-gender specific countenance.

He wanted to think that she could at least like him as a person and he could feel the same toward her. He knew he had no hope of more from her. No woman other than a woman he paid for the pleasure of her company would ever be more than just a friend and he couldn't even have that it seemed. Erik thought it a lucky thing he had made his mind up to only think of Samantha as one of the crew and nothing more.

Erik's first week was filled with learning all the things that made a ship run smoothly. He absorbed knowledge like a sponge absorbed liquid, or so the Captain said.

The Captain had taken an unexpected liking to Erik. They spent a lot of Erik's free time going over maps and charts. The captain was teaching Erik how to navigate the ship and all the things a sailor needed to know to sail through the vast ocean safely.

Samantha grew even colder to Erik the next few weeks. No matter how hard he tried she only ever spoke to him if she couldn't avoid addressing him directly.

Perhaps Erik should have taken that as a blessing as his own thoughts of Samantha continued to be quite mixed. The role of her as only his crewmate had been far too often superimposed by her in a role that would only ever be a reality in Erik's own mind.

Erik wished he could avoid his dreams of her as easily as she avoided him. So far he had little success. Each night when he fell asleep she was there to haunt him. In these dreams Samantha was a willing partner. He dreamed of long kisses and touching smooth skin with his hands and his lips. There wasn't a part of her that wasn't familiar to him. At least in his dreams she couldn't deny him.

Briefly Erik wondered where his dreams of Christine had gone. She seemed to be fading further into the mist as each day passed. Even as Erik felt relief at this blessing he felt unease for the new feelings building inside of him toward Samantha.

It occurred to him many times that when he thought of Christine all those years he had imagined kissing her and having her with him always. He had never dreamed as he did now of Samantha. Of course he had made love to Christine in his dreams but they were never quite as passionate or as vivid as his fantasies of Samantha were.

Erik could only surmise that for all the years he had known Christine they had never had complete days together. An hour here and there had been the sum total of their interactions until he had made the decision to reveal himself to Christine.

Erik had started to take extra watches just to be able to avoid his dreams. Tonight was one of those nights. He had taken over for Daniel one of the younger crewmembers.

The thought of Daniel brought a frown to Erik's brow. Samantha seemed to spend a lot of time with him. She smiled at him and was always animated when she was with him. No cross looks or terse words for Daniel. No, those she saved for Erik.

The way Samantha treated Erik had begun to puzzle her father as well as the other men. No one saw any reason for her attitude. Erik was always courteous and polite no matter how badly Sam behaved.

No one could give Erik a clue as to what he had done to earn Samantha's ire. As she continued to play the magician and disappear whenever Erik came within speaking distance Erik could think of nothing he had said or done that would cause such a reaction in anyone.

"Hello Erik." Samantha's voice floated toward him surrounding him as if she had caressed him with more than mere words. For a moment Erik wondered if his vivid imagination had conjured her into being.

He turned and saw Samantha standing behind him. He felt his body begin to tighten and his throat felt as if it were being constricted between two massive hands tightening around him so that he felt deprived of sufficient air to breath.

"Good evening Samantha." To his own ears his voice sounded rough as if he had a raw throat. It was raw emotions keeping his voice from sounding as it normally would. Erik shivered in reaction to her closeness as his body came fully alive with all those taught emotions he had been keeping at bay for so long. Sweat began to pop out everywhere as his body heated from the proximity of her body so close to his own.

Sam heard the rough edge to Erik's normally smooth as honey tones. The sea air may have affected him adversely. "Do you need me to look at your throat? It sounds as if you may be getting a cold."

His terse "No" caused her to blink a couple of times but she recovered quickly. Perhaps his harshness was no less than she deserved after the way she had been behaving. It was not his fault she found him attractive. If left to her own choosing Sam would have rather not be trapped in the messy pit love can be at times. Attraction could even cause people to behave foolishly when normally they had quite a level head.

Sam forced anger to the surface as a means to combat her growing attraction to Erik. If she was unpleasant enough to him perhaps he would say or do something that would save her from committing the unthinkable action of falling in love. "For a smart man you sure have difficulty remembering the simplest things. My name is Sam. S-a-m." She spelled out the word for him hoping to ruffle him just a little.

Sam was not only angry with herself or Erik. She was angry with her father. He had been in one of his moods that made him wish for grandchildren and for her to find a husband. She asked him whom she should marry. Daniel who was two years younger than her or perhaps one of the older men who could take over the ship when he decided he wanted to go home to their farm in Virginia?

Her father had thought for a moment and then said, "What about Erik? He isn't too old for you. He isn't the handsomest man what with the mask and all but he would be good to you. I like him very much and so do the men. They respect him. That says a lot about him if he can earn the respect of his fellow crewmen. You know as well as I do that they are hard to accept an outsider but they all get on well with Erik. Come to think of it, you're the only one holding out against him. Do you know something I don't?"

"Well maybe one of the crew should marry him then." After saying this she left her father's quarters and slammed the door.

That is why she was now on deck with the man who had become such an irritation to her. She knew it was more than the fact that her father liked him so much that bothered her. She just wasn't willing to admit to herself quite yet what she felt for Erik even in her own mind.

She pushed thoughts of him out of her mind as much as she could. It was easier when she could avoid him. She was careful so that she was never alone with him. Now here she was with Erik after having yet another argument with her father. That her father had suggested Erik as a husband was too close to thoughts she had herself as she drifted off to sleep each night. She was glad of the darkness because it hid the blush that she was sure covered her face as Sam sat nervously next to Erik. Not by word or deed would he know how nervous she felt. If her insides quivered and quaked only she would know. She decided that it might be better to make peace with Erik. He hadn't really done anything to her. It wasn't his fault that her father liked him so much nor did he control Sam's emotions toward him.

"Erik I want to say I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you. My father likes you a lot and he is always telling me how quickly you have learned your way around the ship. You have really impressed him. He told me that if he had a son he would want him to be like you. I guess that's why I resent you so much and haven't been as friendly as I should have been." A half truth was still a lie.

"Your father loves you as you are. He just wishes for you to have more than what this ship has to offer," Erik said in a contemplative tone.

"My father wants me to marry and give him grandchildren. He even suggested that I might find a husband among the crew. I suggested Daniel. He's too young for me but he is good to look at. Maybe I could satisfy my father if I do as he wants. Marry Daniel and have a ship full of little crewmen running around." She was saying this in jest but in her mind the man at her side wasn't Daniel, it was Erik.

Sam felt her breathing quickening. She found herself looking at him intently. Shaking herself from her thoughts she turned to Erik and asked, "So am I forgiven for behaving so badly these past few weeks?" She reached out her hand toward him.

Erik knew it was a mistake to touch her but he couldn't avoid it. He took her small hand in his larger one and stared at their clasped hands for mere seconds before looking into her eyes. Erik could see the reflection of the moon and stars in her eyes. He wondered what she saw in this half light.

Erik was surprised that she was looking at him as intently as he was looking at her. Neither one seemed to be able to look away or release their joined hands. Slowly they began to lean into one another. When their lips were almost to the point of fusing Samantha suddenly drew back and without a word raced below deck.

Erik was cursing himself for allowing himself to think that she had wanted to kiss him. He berated himself and cursed God for giving him all the needs of a normal man but never able to satisfy those needs. Of course, he knew how to satisfy himself as every man does, but to have a woman would be one joy he would never know. Cursing profusely, Erik knew he might as well stay on watch because it would be useless to think he could have a restful sleep tonight. He resigned himself to another night of little or no sleep. If he went to sleep below deck heaven only knew what he might say in his sleep. He had no wish to let anyone know how stupid he really was. Why would she want a man like him? She could have her pick of any man she wanted. It surely was not him who would make her blood heat with want. His touch would not have her skin quivering and yearning for more of his caresses. He must have imagined that moment when he thought they were going to kiss.

Erik decided that perhaps he might go with the men when they docked in England. They told him of the women they visited each trip they made to England. They had promised him that he would have the most satisfying night of his life. Little did they know that he had never had the pleasure of a woman. Yes, Erik felt it was time he gave up on the idea that he could find a woman who would be with him because she wanted him and not because he had the price in his pocket to pay for an hour of her time.

_Please God_ let morning come quickly he prayed. It was easier in the daytime to keep his mind occupied.

Erik had never known all that he missed until Christine came into his life. She had filled a void that he hadn't known he had. Sometimes in his darker moments he thought she was another curse that he had been given to bare. In these moments he wished he had never had Christine in his life.

Erik knew in his heart that he was grateful for the few years of mediocre joy he had shared with Christine. Knowing her had brought out his darkest nature but she had also opened the door for him to be in the light. It had not been her fault that she could not return his ardor.

He knew that he had to be responsible for finding his own happiness. He couldn't trust anyone else. To entrust another with his heart was too big of a risk. He wouldn't do that to himself again. Better to live alone than put your heart into another's hands. The betrayal had cost him too much.

He hoped he could protect his heart this time. He had to fight against these feelings he was having for Samantha. Maybe in the arms of another woman he could find the solution he sought.

As he contemplated this other as yet unknown woman he hoped that Samantha never learned of his liaison. He didn't want her to think badly of him.

Maybe if she did know it would make it easier for him to fight against the attraction he felt for her. Would she not then at last look at him with the disgust he always expected to see yet never had in all these weeks?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Erik woke from his sleep the next morning in a very bad mood. He came below deck about two in the morning. He had fallen asleep and started to dream of Samantha. He was holding her, kissing her, touching her soft skin. She was kissing him back and touching him in places no one had touched before. She was warm and willing. Her soft moans of pleasure fueled his desire for her. He had to possess her. Just when he was about to make her his own, Erik was awakened by Nate. Nate told him that breakfast was on the table. Damn breakfast he thought to himself. Even in his dreams, he was denied the pleasure he sought. The women the men spoke of again entered his mind beginning to hold more appeal for him.

At the table Erik took his place beside Nate. This was not a good morning for anyone to tease Erik. He needed to release some of his tension before he exploded and did something he may regret, like knock a few teeth from Daniel's smiling face. The young man was deep in conversation with Samantha. Erik tried his best to remain rational but found it hard with so much raw emotions churning around inside of him.

Erik wondered if she was charming Daniel so she could please her father. He wanted to pull her away from Daniel. Erik felt all those old feelings of jealousy and rancor rising within him. Erik would not let this unwanted lust rule him. Those types of emotions led to disaster for him.

Erik wanted to shout that he would take care of her, love her, even give her children if that was what she wanted. The idea of children with Christine had never occurred to him other than as a passing thought. He had been far too intent upon winning her affections to worry about anything else. With his face he wondered if he could chance giving an innocent child his curse of a face. With a loving woman at his side Erik felt he could face anything.

In his more rational moments Erik considered it far too soon to be thinking in terms of love or permanence in this life he now had. He had not completely driven Christine out of his heart. Knowing all too well his desperation for a connection to others could lure him into believing things that did not exist, Erik cautioned himself not to allow his heart to rule his head or any other part for that matter. A man's libido could drive him to commit desperate acts as Erik well knew from the things he had been willing to do so Christine could be with him.

Besides, lust and love did not necessarily go hand and hand. One could exist without the other. Erik felt more comfortable pigeonholing what he felt for Samantha in the category of lust only. Not having been in very many intimate situations with women Erik felt he might be very susceptible to any woman who showed any sort of kindness. When he thought in terms of his experiences with women Erik did not have anything other than Antoinette and Christine to count as any type of reference on the subject. What he considered intimate other men would scoff at the notion of mere conversations as being intimate.

He was brought out of his private thoughts by Nate. "Tell us about the sweet woman in your dreams last night Erik. She must be something. If the sounds you were making are an example of how good she is maybe you can pass her on to the rest of us unless she's someone special to you."

Erik knew Nate was only teasing him. Nate didn't know that the woman he was joking about was Samantha. Erik knew this but it gave him an excuse to hit something, hard. He no sooner thought this than he was knocking Nate over and fists were flying. Erik didn't care where he hit he just wanted the satisfaction of feeling his fist contact something solid.

The fight lasted only seconds but seemed longer to Erik. His face hurt. He was glad of the pain because it gave him something else to think of besides his misery. He could be thankful he had fashioned a cloth mask that resembled an overly large eye patch. At least he did not have to worry it might fall off or break during vigorous activity. When he saw the disgust in Samantha's face he wasn't so happy. Damn, he couldn't win no matter what he did.

He turned to Nate and began to apologize. Nate took the hand he put out and gave Erik's him a hearty shake. He clapped him on the back and said," No harm done. We all need to blow off some steam now and then. If I insulted someone you care for I truly am sorry."

The men began to leave to go about the business of running the ship. When there was no one left except for Erik and Samantha he turned to her and began to tell her he was sorry for ruining the meal she had made for them.

"So there is a woman in your life. Daniel said he thought that there might be a woman in Paris. Daniel wasn't gossiping or anything. We just wondered if you had left anyone behind that you cared about."

Samantha seemed to be waiting for him to comment on the fact that he had a woman but he couldn't tell her about Christine and he wouldn't want to lie to her. It confused him as to why this discussion was taking place. She could have no real interest in him.

Sam waited a few seconds for Erik to comment on whether he did indeed have someone wasting for him or not. When he continued to look at her without saying a word she excused herself and ran from the galley, but not before he had seen the hurt in her eyes.

Erik ran his hand distractedly through his hair in frustration. It seemed he could never learn the knack of speaking to people especially women.

Maybe he should have told her that at one time he thought he had someone special but she had loved someone else. Someone who had a face that wasn't marked as if touched by the fires of hell. No, better to let her think he had someone important to him than let her know he was falling in love with her. Erik nearly groaned aloud as his mind acknowledged what he had been so studiously trying to dismiss as a man's lust for a woman.

Erik left the galley and made his way to the deck where he spent the next few hours keeping himself busy so he didn't have to think of Samantha and how he felt about her. He tried to rationalize this new situation by comparing Samantha and Christine. Perhaps all Erik's emotions could be blamed on propinquity. Christine had been the only female other than Antoinette he had any personal contact with all those years at the opera house. Now Samantha came along to taunt him with her femininity. Erik rationalized that any woman who spent more than five minutes in his company he would look at in the light of a lover. Of course that thought would be in his mind alone, not an actuality.

He was busy mending a sail when he heard Samantha's excited voice telling everyone to look over the side. She had caught sight of a pod of dolphins.

Erik looked up but he didn't move to the rail as the other men did. He stayed where he was and watched Samantha's face light up. She looked more enticing than any siren the crew had told him about.

Suddenly she was in front of him and grabbed his hand and pulled him to the rail. There was only room for one more person at the rail so Erik stood behind Samantha and rested his hands on either side of the rail to balance himself.

After a glimpse of the dolphins Erik turned his eyes to Samantha. She looked more beautiful to him than anything he had seen in his life. He bent his head slightly so that he could smell the fresh scent of her skin and fresh clean hair gently caressing his cheek. He breathed in deeply. His senses were filled with the feel of her, the smell of her. Unconsciously he pressed himself softly against her. He was torturing himself but to be this close to her was heaven and he wanted to savor each moment. He knew that he would pay for his weakness later but he couldn't make himself leave her.

Erik had been so caught up in the pleasure of the moment that he didn't realize that the other men were staring at him and Samantha. He didn't notice the knowing looks that passed between them. Now they understood why Erik had taken offence at Nate's remarks earlier that morning. They might only be simple men, but they were not stupid.

Nate motioned with a small movement of his head for the others to follow him. Slowly they left the rail and walked far enough away that the two left behind could not hear their conversation.

Erik and Samantha were so engrossed in their own thoughts that they didn't notice that they were alone.

Samantha could feel Erik's breath on her neck. It made her shiver. She was afraid to move in fear of breaking the contact with Erik thereby spoiling the moment. She liked the feel of his arms around her and the feel of his body pressed into hers. It may not be seemly for a woman to allow a man this close to her person but Sam couldn't bring herself to object.

Erik felt her shiver. He asked her if she were cold. She didn't answer verbally, she only shook her head. So gently and slowly she didn't even know she was moving she pressed her body further into his. Erik didn't know if it was him or her who moved the last inch that brought their bodies tightly against each other. The swaying of the ship rocked their bodies together as if they were making love.

In Erik's imagination they were making love. If her father or the crew knew of his lecherous thoughts they would toss him overboard and rightly so. He didn't want to move, but he knew he had to move away from her. He slowly broke the contact between their bodies. He thought he heard a small moan from her, but knew it was only what he wanted her to

feel. He wanted her to miss the feel of him against her the same way he missed the feel and smell of her.

When Erik broke contact with her Samantha turned toward him. It was then that she noticed that they had been the only two at the rail. Sam could feel her face start to warm. She muttered a quick pardon to Erik and hurried to the other end of the ship where she began a conversation with Daniel.

Erik could feel his teeth grinding together. He forced himself to relax and return to mending the sails.

If he could have read Sam's mind he would have been less angry with poor Daniel. He would have taken comfort in the fact that Sam's mind was less on Daniel and more on the moments she had spent with Erik and reliving the feel of him pressed against her.

"Daniel if you cared about someone and wanted them to notice you what would you do?" Daniel was the only one she trusted to pose this question to as the others would be drawing their swords looking for the bounder who dared put such thoughts in sweet little Sam's head.

"Sam, do you have feelings for someone? There aren't any new crewmembers other than Erik. Oh Sam you sure do want to make life hard for yourself don't you? I'll tell what I know about Erik and the woman he was involved with in Paris, then if you still want my advice I'll help any way I can."

He told her about the story he had heard about the man in the mask who had burned the opera house and murdered two men because of his love for Christine Daae. He told her how the man had taken Christine right from under the noses of the whole opera house and then disappeared without a trace. The man had left Christine and her lover in the catacombs and no one had seen or heard of him again. Christine and Raoul had refused to press charges. They told everyone that she had wanted to go with the man but had changed her mind when Raoul had come after her. There was no evidence to prove that the two men were murdered, but everyone knew what had happened. Daniel even knew that this man had been called Opera Ghost and Phantom of the Opera. The man who ruled L'Opéra Populaire with an iron fist had also extorted 20,000 francs a month from the managers.

"Erik may not be the man they were looking for Sam. Think of how Erik has been these past weeks. If he is the man he is different now than he was before. He might be forgiven for going a little crazy. He was left to fend for himself in a world that didn't want him when he should have had the love of his mother and father. Who can blame him if he didn't know how to be a normal person when all he knew was darkness and cold lonely days and nights buried alive underneath all the tons of rock and mortar that made up the opera house. I speak of the opera house in the past tense as he cut the chandelier down setting the whole place ablaze.

Sometimes I wonder how great he could have become with just a little acceptance. They say that he is a genius. He could compose, draw, sculpt, design and make costumes. If he is the man it is truly a great loss to the world that he doesn't create any more. He had all that to give the world and carelessly humanity threw it away. Not many people can contribute to the world in the way that he could. It's our loss and his because he lost everything that was important to him.

So do you still want to know how to snare your man?" said Daniel jokingly. He felt it was time to lighten the mood. He knew Sam quite well and had not missed the covetous glances she had been throwing in Erik's direction. In Daniel's opinion when Sam at last caved in to her feminine side a landslide would ensue. Once she gave her heart the lucky bastard would have a rare woman loving him.

"Yes I do. Whatever he did in the past he isn't that person any more." Sam knew that if she had known Erik before she might feel differently about him. The mere recounting of evil deeds did not sink in as well as witnessing the person committing the acts. To have seen them first hand could show things in a different perspective.

Daniel grabbed Sam and with tight squeeze he said, "Good girl. I knew you were one of the smart ones. He won't be an easy man to love Sam. He has been hurt for so many years that this recent blow to his heart will have him feeling pretty raw.

I really don't have much advice to give. Do extra little things for him. A smile goes a long way when trying to get your hooks in a man. Most men are lured in by a sweet smile. Get him to talking about things that interest him. Men love talking about themselves and things that interest them. I should know after all as I am one of God's gifts to women."

Sam poked Daniel playfully in the upper arm for alluding to her seduction of Erik as similar to landing a fish as well as thinking of himself so highly. "Thank you Daniel." With a final hug and kiss on Daniel's cheek Sam left Daniel to resume his tasks.

Erik watched their exchange trying make it look as though he were intent on his task, but his full attention was on the two people across the deck. He was making a mess of the sail repair. He knew he would have to redo the whole thing later but it didn't matter as much as it did to see the two of them together. So close and so intent on what the was saying. Erik dare not let his mind enter into those darker corners of his mind. He knew all too well the destruction he could render when possessed by his alter ego. He wanted to keep the Phantom buried where all bad memories should stay.

This sick feeling in his stomach and the need to rip Daniel away from Samantha was a feeling that was all too familiar to Erik.

Erik thought to himself that he would not do this again. He had just regained a little peace in his life he didn't want to ever go through the kind of pain that he had suffered with Christine. He would have to make sure he stayed away from Samantha as much as he could. Making this decision made Erik relax just a little and he began to unravel the mess he had made of the sail.

Erik felt the hairs on his neck raise. He knew she was behind him. He could smell the scent of the soap Samantha liked to use. He turned so he could look over his shoulder at her.

She was smiling at him. She was holding a bucket of water and a cup. She scooped a cupful of water and offered it to him. She waited for him to take the cup from her.

"Would you care for some water Erik?" She looked innocent of any subterfuge. It was a simple gesture, no need to analyze and speculate over it.

Damn, he thought to himself, what trick did the world have in store for him now? He reached out his hand and took the cup. Drinking all the water he handed the cup back to her. She then sat the bucket and cup down near his feet and left without another word. He noticed that she hadn't offered anyone else a drink. Perhaps she thought he looked thirstier than anyone else.

Erik didn't know what to think. She had actually approached him. This was only the second time she had spoken to him that wasn't concerning something to do with the ship or pass a message from one of the other men on to him. His resolve to stay away from her was crumbling fast.

He decided he would wait and see what happened during the evening meal. If she was cold toward him he would then know that what he thought he saw in her eyes was just wishful thinking.

Erik prayed that he wasn't in for more heartbreak. The last time it had almost cost him his life and his sanity.

The bell that signaled the evening meal was ringing. Erik put away his tools and set the sail down and headed below deck.

Soon he would know if he was imagining things or if Samantha did feel something for him other than the dislike she had shown for him most of the time he had been on board.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay folks another chapter in the lives of Erik and Sam (Samantha). Reviews are encouraged even sought after. :)**

**Chapter Five **

Erik had taken his usual seat at the table. From where he sat he had a good view of Samantha. She was serving the men their food. She usually started at the head of the table, but tonight she started with Nate and then she was at Erik's side.

"Erik I know you like your meat on the lean side. I picked this steak just for you."

"Thank you Samantha. I mean Sam." Erik wanted to say more but thought it best to not let himself express more than a simple thank you. Words had often gotten him into trouble.

She just smiled and went on to the next man. No chastisement for calling her Samantha. She picked the best meat for him and had smiled the whole time. Erik looked down at the tempting cut of beef. He would enjoy this twice as much knowing that meat would be running low soon and that Samantha had chosen it with him specifically in mind.

Erik didn't listen to the talk that was going on around him. He was to busy with his own thoughts. It took several moments for him to realize that Nate was talking to him.

"Erik we will be stopping at one of the small islands tomorrow. How about coming and visiting a few friends with us? They will show you a real good time, make you forget your troubles. A man needs a night of comfort every now and then and we won't hit land again for another month. Will you come?"

Erik gave a distracted "Yes". The sound of shattering glass made everyone turn toward the sound. Sam had broken a dish.

"Sorry, it slipped."

No one mentioned the fact that the dish had hit the wall and not the floor or that the splattered contents were on the wall opposite to where Sam stood and slightly to the left of Erik's head.

If Erik was confused before he was really confused now. After dropping the plate Samantha had served dessert. She passed Erik by. When Captain Sinclair mentioned this she started back toward Erik with his piece of apple pie. Somehow the dish tipped and his pie landed on the floor. He would almost swear that she had done it on purpose.

"Sorry but that was the last piece. I can get some canned peaches if you like." It sounded to him like she would rather dump them on him than serve them to him.

"No thank you Samantha I've had enough."

She was about to walk away then turned back toward him. "My name is Sam. Please try to remember. Everyone else does."

She made it sound as though he had less intelligence than the rest of the men. He didn't know what he had done to her but he wished he could take it back. He ran through all that had been said but couldn't remember anything that would have upset her.

Nate got up and the other men followed him. When they gathered up top they questioned his reason for asking Erik to join them the next day. He told them he just wanted to be sure he hadn't misunderstood what he thought he saw earlier. No mistake those two were on the brink of falling in love. They just needed a little push. They were in luck to have such a man as Nate to show them the way. The crew dubiously agreed.

Erik followed soon after the others. He had no wish to upset Samantha any more than she was already. He needed to clear his head anyway and the night air might help. The night sky was clear. The blanketing darkness looked as if it were sprinkled with diamonds. This is what I need he thought.

He had decided that he would go with the men tomorrow and he might just try one of those women they were always talking about. A woman who had no other thought other than to please him. One who wouldn't change her mind every five seconds. Yes, he would enjoy all that tomorrow would bring him.

Sam made sure that all the men were gone before she left to go up on the deck. She needed to be alone. She was feeling hurt and betrayed. She had thought she had made it clear to Erik how she felt. She supposed a man could care for one woman and still be with another. Some of the crew had wives at home yet they had women in every port. They claimed they loved their wives but Sam didn't think they did. She wouldn't stand for a man to have other women and come home to her and expect her to act loving and willing to make love knowing he had been with someone else.

Sam's thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Erik leaning against the rail. His mask made his face seem dark and mysterious. He looked dangerous and exciting at the same time. He drew her as no one else ever had before. She had never dreamed such dreams as she had been having since Erik came on board. She would die if her father knew what kind of thoughts went on in her head at night.

She had never even kissed a man other than her father. In her dreams she did a lot more than kiss. She couldn't remember all that she dreamed, but she knew that she did much more than kiss him because when she woke her heart was racing and her skin was flushed while sweat covered every inch of her body. She woke feeling as if some unknown need had been satisfied. She had thought that she might get to learn what it was that she did in her dreams with Erik from the man himself. If her dreams were that good she thought she might die from the realty.

She wanted to know what it was that made the men so eager to go to these women they would see tomorrow. What kind of power was there in the act of sexual gratification that made people willing to betray those they claim to love for a few moments of pleasure? She hoped she would find the answer to her questions soon and she hoped it would be Erik who gave her the answers.

Erik turned and saw Samantha at the other end of the deck. It seemed as if she was looking at him. She didn't turn away, but continued to look at him. He knew he should go below but he couldn't stop himself from walking toward her. He kept his eyes locked with hers as he walked closer to her. She didn't look away either.

Erik came to a stop in front of her. He didn't know what made him reach his hand out to her. She didn't reject him as he thought she would but took his hand letting him pull her closer with no resistance. She continued to look into his eyes.

Erik slowly began to move his lips toward hers. She still didn't move. He moved his body in closer to hers so that all that separated them was their clothing. Every inch of flesh could be felt by both of them.

Before he bent the last inch that would bring their lips together he gave her one last chance to retreat. She didn't. To his surprise she wrapped her arms around his neck and moved the final inch to put her lips against his. She softly moved against him. His mind began to whirl as sensations he had long repressed began to surge through him. She opened her mouth and softly nibbled at his lower lip.

Erik put his arms around her and pressed his lips harder into hers. He began to move his hands along her body. He wanted to touch her everywhere. He wanted to feel her naked skin against his own. He wanted to possess her as he knew no other man had.

Erik knew he would have to stop soon or he would lay her down on the deck and make love to her under the darkness of the night sky. He didn't want their first time together to be rushed or out where anyone could see. He wanted to be able to take his time and insure that they both got pleasure from their joining. Erik had no experience in such matters only what he had learned second hand from the liaisons of the opera house employees and patrons.

Erik slowly took his lips from hers. He looked into her passion drugged face and almost changed his mind. He shook his head and said, "Not here and not tonight." He then lowered his head to hers for one last kiss before he left her. When his lips touched hers she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed closer to him once more testing his resolution.

Erik gently took her arms from around his neck and whispered, "Good night." Then he left her without another word. He felt like running from her as he could not say how resolute his decision not to take her actually was.

He hoped he had made the right decision. The way his luck was she could change her mind by the morning.

Erik went to bed not knowing that he and Samantha had been seen not only by the crew but by her father as well. Had he known his dreams might not have been so vivid.

Nate was feeling quite proud of himself. He knew that Sam just needed a push in the right direction. He was looking forward to the next day. He wondered what excuse Erik would give so that he wouldn't have to go with them tomorrow. He felt like having a little fun with Erik. He didn't think he had ever seen Erik smile or heard him laugh. Strange. Well this time tomorrow Erik would have a lot to laugh and smile about.

Nate might not have felt so happy if he had seen Sam's face after Erik had left. He missed the tears running down her face and missed Daniel trying to comfort Sam. Daniel asked what had happened. What he understood was that she and Erik had been together and Erik had rejected her. Daniel couldn't convince her that she was mistaken, that perhaps Erik just respected her and her father too much to let his baser instincts rule his head. She refused to believe what Daniel was saying. He finally gave up and let her cry while he held her.

Neither Sam nor Daniel saw the dark figure standing in the shadows. If Daniel could have seen the rage in Erik's eyes he might have been afraid. Erik didn't like to feel this kind of rage. He resisted his urge to throw Daniel overboard.

He had come back because he thought she might have thought he didn't want her. He had left her so abruptly she might have misunderstood. Now he could see she had found a replacement for him. His pitiful demonstration of his affections had meant nothing to her.

Erik turned away and made his way below deck. He knew he would find sleeping hard but he would try. It would be even harder not to sneak around in the shadows with a rope fashioned into his familiar Punjab to use around Daniel's neck.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Erik had known he would have a restless night. If he had thought he could escape the dreams of Samantha he had been wrong. In his dreams he couldn't lie to himself. If she came to him again he would take her in his arms like he had before. He wanted her just as much today as he had yesterday.

Today they were making one of their stops to a small island so cargo could be unloaded then delivered to the sugar cane refinery. After that ardous task fresh fruits and vegetables would be loaded onto the ship as well as fresh water and other much needed items. Eventually they would make their way to England landing in port with a loaded hull of exotic merchandise as well as the very lucrative cargo, sugar.

"Come on Erik. We'll set anchor in a few minutes. We always eat with the chief and his wives. Come on get up and get ready for the time of your life," Nate said sure that Erik would decline his invitation.

"Alright give me a couple of minutes. I'll join you on deck." He wasn't looking forward to facing anyone today. He wanted to avoid seeing Samantha. She would know where he was going and what he was going to do. It shouldn't bother him, but it did. He got out of his bunk and dressed. Putting off the moment as long as he dared, Erik reluctantly made his way topside.

The others were already waiting for him. It seemed everyone was waiting for something. They were all looking at him expectantly. He didn't know what to say so he just said he was ready when they were.

They all exchanged glances. They seemed to want him to say something else. They began to whisper to one another.

"Are you sure you want to come Erik? If you don't want to come because of your young lady we understand. No hard feelings." Nate gave Erik this easy way of declining his invitation with no hard feelings.

"No I want to come. A little companionship is exactly what I need right now." Nate and his crewmates scratched their heads in confusion. They would have bet Blackbeard's treasure that Sam and Erik had some sort of understanding between them.

Erik turned to go down to the waiting dingy. When he turned he saw Samantha standing against the rail a little further down from where they were climbing over the side. She looked upset. Erik told himself he didn't care. She wasn't his problem. Let Daniel take care of her. She wasn't his to worry about. She had given him proof how fickle she could be. He had enough of trying to compete for the love of a woman.

Before he left he heard her ask if he were going with the men to see their friends. He wasn't sure she had directed the question toward him until he met her questioning eyes.

He didn't answer her verbally he only nodded his head. Let her think of him what she wanted. He wanted to feel something other than this gnawing hunger for things he was never able to have. Erik thought it long past the time he experienced for himself what the others whispered about or patted one another on the shoulder for having made another conquest.

Erik saw Samantha's shoulders slump and she hung her head down. Before he could say anything else Daniel came from below.

"Let's get moving. There are a lot of pretty women who are just waiting for me to show them a good time," said Daniel genially, not knowing he placed his life in jeopardy.

Erik couldn't believe that Daniel was going with them and he said as much in front of Samantha. This must be why she looked so upset. Daniel was going to be with someone else after being with her last night. How often had this scoundrel played Samantha for a fool?

Not knowing what else to do they all headed down the side of the ship. Before they got over the side the captain came and spoke to them. He gave them the same speech he always did and which they ignored for the most part. They respected the captain so they did heed his words in part. They would never do anything to jeopardize the captain's friendship with the people of this island. They relied on the fresh water supply as well as replenishing fresh fruits, vegetables and meat stores in trade with the chief.

With final goodbyes they headed over the side. Samantha watched them all leave feeling her insides churning as if she might be sick. The person she watched most closely was Erik. She silently willed him not to partake of the pleasures those island beauties had to offer.

She felt as if she wanted to cry or scream or maybe just beat a certain person across his stupid head. Maybe she'd do all three.

Her father asking her if she wanted to go ashore he could have the other dingy readied brought Sam out of her daydreams of beating Erik.

"Maybe later. Right now I want to enjoy the quiet." Really all she wanted was a good cry.

"Sam if there were something wrong you would tell me wouldn't you?" asked her father. For all he seemed not to hover over Sam, Captain Sinclair watched her closely at all times. He trusted his crew but men were men and could let lust rule them at times when brains would serve them better.

"There's nothing wrong. I'm just a little under the weather today that's all."

"I thought you might be spending the day with Erik. I noticed you two were getting along better last night.

She looked at him and asked what he meant mentally crossing her fingers he had not witnessed Erik kissing her or more correctly, her kissing Erik.

"Sam I saw you and Erik last night, we all saw you together. I thought you two had finally gotten over your misunderstanding. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry if things didn't work out for you Sam. If you need me for anything I'll be here. I'll always be here for you." Samantha had been her father's whole world outside of sailing the world in his ship.

"I know you mean well father but this time I think I need to work things out for myself. I am a woman you know, not your little girl anymore. Maybe later we can talk but not just yet." After hugging him she said she wanted to lie down for a while.

Captain Sinclair looked toward the shore and saw that the men had reached the beach. There were people waiting for them on shore. The men were being greeted as old friends. They had been coming to the island for many years and retained this cordial acceptance of one another. It had been a prosperous friendship for both the captain and the chief.

Erik stood back and watched all the people hugging and kissing. A young woman approached him. She put flowers around his neck and kissed his cheek. She didn't seem to notice his mask or if she did she didn't seem to be frightened or even slightly curious about it. Erik decided he liked these people. He would have a good time even if it killed him.

Samantha waited all day and long into the night for them to return. She dosed off and on. She finally decided she would go and wait on deck. She wasn't waiting to see if Erik came back aboard tonight. She just wanted to make sure that anyone coming aboard didn't hurt themselves if they had too much to drink as they usually did. She ignored the fact that on every visit the men stayed ashore until the next morning.

It seemed like forever to her but was only a few hours later that the dingy was coming back. There were only two people in the small vessel. One man rowed while the other lay in the bottom of the dingy.

She waited as the first man climbed over the side. As the man stood she could see it was Erik. A different Erik than the one she saw before. His mask was in his hand and he wasn't very steady on his feet.

Nate climbed over the side shortly after Erik. When he had both feet on deck Nate offered a steadying hand to Erik.

"He's a little bit the worse for wear Sam. I guess he isn't used to drinking . After a few he was too drunk to stand so I thought I better bring him back aboard. If you help just a bit we can manage to get him below."

"Take him to my cabin. It's closer than the crew's quarters."

Nate looked at her for a moment then shrugged his shoulders. They struggled their way down but managed to get him safely onto Sam's bunk.

"You don't have to stay. Father is still aboard if I need anything," said Sam as she eyed Erik wanting to question him as to whether he had enjoyed any of those women while she acknowledged she had no right to do so.

"If your sure you don't need me I would like to go back." Nate had an understanding with one of the island women. They had not had any sort of ceremony performed but had committed themselves to one another in their eyes. Nate had no other family or attachments anywhere. He only saw Meleah three or four times a year but those times counted for more than some marriages where the parties saw one another on a daily basis.

Sam nodded her head knowing he would be anxious to return to Meleah. Alone with Erik she was able to see what he had always hid behind his mask. He was very badly deformed on the right side of his face and up into the hairline. She thought how cruel to give him one part of his face that was so striking and then take away the other side and replace it with what many people wouldn't be able to look at without showing their horror. She wasn't horrified or put off by his face. Perhaps because she had been able to get to know the man he was underneath all the scars she was able to see more than that damaged part of him. Even though he had hurt her she knew he was a good man. He couldn't help not loving her as she loved him. During her time spent pondering her feelings Sam had admitted to herself that love had entered her heart whether Erik returned the emotion or not.

As she watched him he began to stir . He opened his eyes and muttered the name Christine. He reached for her and pulled her down to the bunk beside him. He looked at her face for a moment then pulled her down to him so that his lips touched hers.

Even though he thought she was Christine she couldn't help responding to his mouth on hers. She pressed her body against his. He gave a moan of pleasure. She moved so that her body was on top of his. She could feel all of him and he felt good. She wanted more. Sam put her hands on his shirt front and began to undo his buttons. With his shirt unbuttoned she could touch him as she had wanted for a long time. Her hand was slowly going down his body when he suddenly flipped her over and he was on top.

Erik raised his head and looked at the woman beneath him. He saw Samantha's face. She looked back at him steadily. He did not see rejection mirrored back at him from her eyes. She slowly raised her lips to his. Samantha was softly brushing his mouth with hers but gradually she pressed more firmly against him. She had no idea really what to do other than what she had overheard from the crew when they thought her to be occupied elsewhere.

Erik raised his head to see her more clearly and put his hand on the first button of her shirt. Before he went further he wanted her to be sure. Once he started he did not know if he could stop.

"Samantha are you sure this is what you want?" When he had first blearily looked at the woman hovering over him his mind had brought Christine's image for just a few seconds. Christine's image had dissolved leaving only Samantha incredibly close to him.

She slid her lips along his scarred face and placed her lips against his ear and murmured, "Yes." Having him know it was her and not some other woman pleased her beyond words. At this moment he could ask anything of her and she would grant whatever he requested.

If he was dreaming Erik never wanted to wake up. He slowly removed her clothes and then his own. She was better than he could ever have imagined. He touched her and kissed her in places he was sure no one had touched or seen. Before he made his final possession of her he asked her once more if she were sure. Her response was to pull him to her and kiss him until coherent thought was no longer possible.

After that Erik lost what little control he had. He caressed her and kissed her everywhere. He finally made her his own with one gentle movement. He hesitated when he heard her cry out but she pulled him to her and they began to do what lovers had done since Eve first tempted Adam.

Hours later Sam woke to find Erik asleep beside her. She couldn't believe how incredible Erik had made her feel. Not once but three times he had turned to her. Each time she had been eager for him to possess her. At first he had not seemed to know what to do any more than she had. The greater their ardor, the more emboldened they had became. One caress had led to another. Soon it had not mattered if neither of them had experience. Learning together had its own rewards.

Just looking at him and thinking of what they done made her want him again. She wondered if it were possible. She slid her hand over him and placed her lips on his neck and began to work her way down his body. She again noticed that he had a the body most men would covet and women would envy her for having him as her lover. He was muscled from the physical labor he did every day. She didn't have anyone she could compare him with, but she thought he was a fine specimen as far as she could tell. He looked wonderful to her.

Erik woke to the feel of Samantha doing things to him that had only ever been in his dreams before. If he were dreaming again he was going to store this one where he had put the others.

"Samantha?"

"Do you think I'm insatiable Erik?" asked Samantha even as she continued to seek places she might have missed paying homage to during the night.

"If you are insatiable then so am I and I wouldn't change that for anything. Do you know how many men would kill to be where I am right now? I can't believe you want this face beside you. Kissing you. Are you sorry we made love?" Samantha had seemed eager for his possession but Erik could not help the doubts that plagued him.

"Erik does it feel as if I regret being with you? Now shut up and show me how much you want me." Samantha knew this was not proper but could not say she regretted it or felt guilty for having given herself to Erik.

The next time Sam woke she decided she should get out of bed, get cleaned up and dressed before her father decided to check on Erik. He wouldn't mind that she had let Erik sleep off his night but he surely would object if he found her in bed with him naked as the day she was born.

She hurriedly washed off and got her clean clothes. As she dressed she wondered if Erik would remember all that they had done the night before. He had been drinking but he had seemed sober when he made love to her. Would he remember that it had been her and not Christine he had made love to?

Erik had not acted as if he had one thought of Christine in his head when they talked. He had not seemed to be confused after that first time he had murmured Christine's name.

She left Erik lying in her bunk. She went up on deck to face the new day. Everything looked brighter than it ever had before.

If she had known that the passion she had shared showed on her face she wouldn't have felt so eager to meet any of the crew and especially not her father.

Luckily she met no one. She could relive her night with Erik in her fantasies, fantasies that could never compare to the real thing.

That Erik may have been with this other woman bothered her. She knew it wasn't fair to be jealous of someone he had known before her but she was.

She hoped he remembered that they had been together last night. He had first called her Christine but she knew darn well he had known who she was when he took her to heaven and back. He had whispered her name, not that other woman's name in his passion. He had known she was Sam when he looked into her face or Samantha as Erik preferred to call her.

Samantha looked dreamy and distracted. She looked like a woman who had been loved all night long and been satisfied completely. Samantha was an eager student and she wanted Erik to teach her all the ways they could satisfy one another.

Erik had performed so well that Sam had not realized he had known no more than she had. Love and Erik's desire to please her had given him the forbearance to place Samantha's pleasure above his own which ensured him the maximum enjoyment.

They had both been willing pupils in the art of pleasuring. Now they must learn the art of loving another without any secrets or masks between them. For all his ardor Erik had been careful to keep his mask intact. Whenever her hand wandered in the direction of the right side of his face before she knew what happened he grasped her hand and led it to some other tempting part of him. Time, it would take time for him to come to trust in her completely. Love erased bounderis people put around them for protection. Love could turn the ugliest of creatures into something acceptable to the one who loved for such is the power of that emotion. It blinded the eyes to ugliness and showed only beauty.

**A/N: Sorry this is late in coming but my divorce along with creditors are driving me crazy. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry it's been such a long wait but I've felt too depressed to write. The rain and chilly weather hasn't helped my melancholy. Tonight I kicked myself in the behind and got down to getting this chapter ready to post. What a long chapter it is too. Hope everyone enjoys my offering. If you wouldn't mind go on over to ficiton press and check out my original story I have started called Innocence Lost. **

**Chapter Seven**

Erik woke to find himself alone. His head felt as if it were going to fall from his neck. When he moved it felt as if hot metal daggers were piercing his skull and into his eyes. He could vaguely remember last night. At least he thought it was a memory. Surely his dreams had never been as real as last night. In his dreams he never quite made it to the point where he possessed Samantha. Even when he used to dream of Christine he never completely made her his own in the way he had imagined with Samantha.

Trying to remember as much as his pounding head would allow he thought back to the night before. He remembered taking something to drink that had made his head start to swim.

Each time his glass was emptied it was refilled. Erik couldn't remember how many times he had drank from the glass he just knew that he forgot what was troubling him so he had drank more.

It was a good thing Nate had been watching him. He might have drunk himself into oblivion. Nate brought him back and he could remember getting aboard. He knew that this was Samantha's cabin. That part was no dream. This was the point where he started to get fuzzy.

He pushed back the blanket and saw the evidence that indeed Samantha had been with him. The spot on the sheet that proved her to be an innocent was there for him to see. This brought more flashes of things that he had done to her and that she had done to him

The way he felt now and as inebriated as he was last night it is a wonder he could perform in a manly fashion at all. If Samantha were to return he would do his damndest to meet her expectations but knowing he may well disgrace himself by being ill at any moment he prayed this was a morning she kept busy in the galley.

He hadn't thought it possible to make love so many times in one night. He could recall that the women at the opera house had many complaints. They complained about how quickly it was over and that they were unsatisfied with their current lover because once the man had his needs satisfied he wanted to move on to something else leaving the woman unfulfilled.

What if he hadn't made Samantha feel as he thought he had? What if that was why she had left him. Maybe she regretted being with him. What if in his inexperience he had disgusted her. He hadn't told her that it was his first time to be with a woman physically. He had seen the act performed many times as he watched from the safety of his dark world. The performers often made love in the halls where as a boy he had hidden in the dark corners.

Erik thought it was useless to lie here and try to imagine what Samantha thought. He needed to see her and look into her eyes to see if she hated him now.

As Erik reached for his clothes his mask fell to the floor . He hadn't even thought of his mask. Maybe she had seen his face in the light and been horrified by what she saw. If she turned from him because of his face he didn't think he would want go on with his life. He knew in his soul that if he couldn't have Samantha he wouldn't be able to recover as he had with Christine. His love for Samantha was a deeper love more mature sort of affection. The feelings he had for her were much stronger than any he felt for anyone. This love was based on his need of the woman and not on her voice . He had to have Samantha for him to feel whole .

He washed in the basin and quickly put his clothes on. He had to find her to see if she still wanted him. He could worry himself to death and would be no wiser than he was now. She must have seen his face or at least felt it. He seemed to remember rather vividly lips and fingers stroking him lovingly. Wishful thinking? Time to face the piper.

When he had dressed he went up to the deck. It was much later than he thought. The sun was high in the sky and the men were hoisting the sails in preparation to set sail. He looked for Samantha but at first he didn't see her. Then he saw her helping the men pull the ropes that would raise the sails. She looked as she always did. Beautiful. She was concentrating so hard on her task that Erik came behind her and reached his arms around her an took hold of the rope. He placed his hands above hers. She didn't protest or tell him to go to hell. He did feel a few daggers shooting in his back from the men. A little late it came to him that perhaps a little distance between him and Samantha would be more appropriate when among others. Too late for propriety now. Why hadn't his brillaince awakened sooner?

Well so far he thought he might not have frightened her off last night. He felt her lean back into him so that their bodies were touching. He nearly let go of the rope and grabbed hold of her instead. He managed to control the urge. Those figurative daggers in his back might just turn into real harpoons if he boldly touched her in such a way.

When the sail was up and they were underway he took Samantha's hand and guided her below deck. This was the one place that would be private at this time. He smiled confidently or as confident as one can be when walking the plank while still on deck. The men seemed to have lined up as if guiding him to some inevitable deathly fate.

As soon as they were below deck he turned toward her and forgot everything he wanted to say. She looked so good to him and he wanted her so much that he bent and kissed her. He had meant to be gentle with her but as soon as his lips met hers and he felt her respond he ground his lips into hers. He heard her groan and thought it was from pain so he started to pull away. But she put her hands behind his head and pulled him closer.

After a few minutes of kissing and caressing each other Marcus pulled away from Samantha .She looked as he probably looked . He felt as if he were drained . They hadn't even made love and he felt weakened .

"Samantha we need to stop now. Not because I want to but because we could be interrupted by anyone. "

"I know. That's why I left you this morning. I was afraid my father might come in. I didn't want to leave you. I didn't think until later that you might misunderstand. I'm glad your so smart."

"Was last night good for you? Did you feel what I felt?" That had not been what he meant to say. Now she would know how clumsy he felt and how little experience he had.

"I don't know, what did you feel."

"Samantha, please," he begged,

"Erik, I've never felt anything like I did when you were making love to me. Do you want me to tell you how magnificent you were? How I've never felt so satisfied by any other lover as I was with you?"

"I know you haven't had any other lovers Samantha. I had proof of that this morning. I am a little fuzzy on some details but I do remember each time we made love. In my memory you enjoyed me as much as I enjoyed you. Is it true? I made it enjoyable for you?" Now he sounded like a whiney begging self-doubting lover, which he was. The self-doubting part anyway.

"If you like we can do it again just to see if maybe we were both having the same dream. She pulled him to her and kissed his mouth and touched his face with her hands. She pulled her lips from his and put her hand on the side of his face covered with the mask.

"Will you take it off for me? I want nothing between us. Not your mask not our clothes. I want to feel your skin on mine. Feel all of you when we make love. Since that isn't going to happen just this moment I'll settle for what I can have."

She put her hand on his mask and started to pull it off. He put his hand over hers as if to stop her, but he let her continue.

Erik closed is eyes and prayed that she wouldn't change her mind when she saw his face in the full light of day.

He felt her remove his mask and waited for her to either accept him or reject him. He felt her hand run over his face and then he felt her place her soft mouth on his cheek and begin to move them over his face. She didn't stop at his face. She moved to his neck. She kissed one side and then the other. When her mouth dropped to his chest Erik couldn't stand to be passive any longer. With a groan he took her mouth with his.

Someone clearing their throat made them pull guiltily apart.

It was her father. He didn't seem surprised or upset that he caught his only daughter with a man. That he would have seen more if he had been a few minutes later caused her cheeks to burn.

She started to speak but her father shook his head and pointed toward the opening to the deck. That he didn't say anything made her a little nervous to leave them alone. Her father was a kind and fair man for the most part but let someone threaten someone he cared about then all hell broke loose. The look he gave her convinced her she should leave. Before leaving she kissed Erik on the cheek. She dared her father to say anything. He didn' a last reassuring look at Erik she left the two men together.

"Well it's about time you two came to your senses. All this on again off again emotion was wearing on my nerves. I'm glad you two are together. We've all been taking bets how long it would take for you to admit what the rest of have known for a good while now." The smile dropped from Captain Sinclairs face to turn serious.

"Erik I don't want to pry but I am her father. Should we be concerned about repercussions from last night?"

Erik stared at him blankly for a moment and he understood what her father was saying. He wanted to know if they had done anything that might result in a child. As he thought this Erik fell back against the wall and slid down until he was on the floor. He couldn't believe that he hadn't thought of all the ramifications that might come from their joining in intimacy. When he thought of her before he had at times imagined her with his child, but last night he had wanted her so badly and his mind was dulled by the alcohol. Guilt and honesty wouldn't let him use that easy way out.

"I can't say that I'm happy about the situation, but I do know you love Sam and I'm pretty sure she loves you. We wouldn't be having this conversation if she didn't. I'm as set on propriety as any other father but living on a ship cheek by jowl is trying at the best of times. Trying to tether run away emotions is near impossible."

Captain Sinclair sat down beside Erik. He didn't say anything for a minute just sat gathering his thoughts. When he did speak it was as if his mind were miles away.

"I've never told another soul what I'm about to tell you. I know that since you love Samantha I can trust you."

"I've told you about the man I fought with and killed. I didn't tell you that he was Samantha's father. He knew her mother and I were engaged but he pursued her anyway. In a weak moment after a bad quarrel she gave in to him. She told me about it later and I forgave her. Months later she found out that she was going to have a child. We had not been together so there wasn't a possibility that I was the father."

"One night I went to have a few drinks with my friends to celebrate getting married and Jake was there. Somehow he had found out about Elizabeth being pregnant and began to taunt me. I managed to ignore him but he wouldn't stop."

"I began to make a few comments back and one thing led to another and he was dead. I killed Samantha's father. I've lived with that guilt all these years. I couldn't love her any more if she were my own. Elizabeth made me promise never to tell her. What would be the point anyway? It would only hurt her."

"So do I get to perform a marriage ceremony or do you walk the plank? I'm only kidding about the plank. But maybe we shouldn't let anyone else know just how close you and Sam have become ."

"Now let's get up from here before I have to stay here. My old bones can't take much more of this."

When they stood up Captain Sinclair held out his hand to Erik.

"Just make her happy Erik. Love her and keep her safe after I'm gone."

"Captain I'd gladly give my own life for her. On my honor I promise I will do all that is possible to make her life as wonderful as she deserves."

"Perhaps you should go and find Samantha and talk to her. She is a little naïve. She probably hasn't thought of repercussions either. As far as I know she hasn't even been kissed by anyone other than me. Perhaps I sheltered her too much. Well, soon she can be your worry and leave me to gray more slowly in my old age."

As they went up on deck Erik thought of all that the Captain had said to him. He wondered how Samantha would feel to have his child growing in her. To hold a tiny life under her heart. She would love a child with her whole heart and soul. She would protect it from all who would hurt it. He felt his chest tighten as these thoughts raced through his mind. A part of him wanted her to have his child and another part that feared what his child might look like dreaded that eventuality. He couldn't stand for any child of his to go through what he had.

He saw her as soon as he reached the deck. She was standing in her favorite spot by the rail looking out at the ocean. She had undone her hair so that it blew free in the wind. She liked to wear it loose sometimes. She complained later how tangled it got. She had threatened to cut it several times, but Erik was glad that she hadn't. If she agreed to become his wife then that privelege and honor would be his if he so wished.

He began to walk toward her. When he was directly behind her he put his hands on the rail beside her as he had before. As before she leaned into him. She laid her head back against his chest and took his right hand in hers and drew it across her so that he was pulled even closer to her.

"How could you know it was me behind you? I could have been anyone."

"Then some anonymous person would have gotten quite a treat wouldn't they?" He couldn't see the smile that crossed her face but he could hear it in her voice. She had been watching to see when he came on deck. She pretended to be interested in the ocean waves tut she only had an interest in seeing Erik.

"Did my father threaten to have your guts for breakfast?"

Erik gave a small laugh. He had heard the men use that phrase before but it sounded odd coming from her.

"Do that again," said Samantha. Erik was puzzled. He didn't know what she wanted him to do.

"What? What do you want me to do?"

"Laugh. I've never heard you laugh before."

He couldn't ever remember having laughed at anything before. No jokes or funny stories and never a playful tickle. " I don't think I've had an occasion to laugh before. It seems I am going to experience a lot of firsts with you."

"What other things haven't you done that we did together?" she asked .

Erik was reluctant to tell her that he had never been with a woman before. Most men of his age had been with many women or at least one special person.

"I've never been with another woman," he whispered .

Samantha turned toward him so that she could look in his eyes to see the truth he told or the lie to make her feel special. He looked back at her and she saw the truth in his eyes. She had been his only lover as he was her only lover.

Samantha threw herself into him and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. She was kissing every part of his face she could reach that wasn't covered by his mask. She at last pulled slightly from him and asked the question she had wanted to ask before but didn't have the courage to ask.

"What about the woman you had before? This Christine person."

"How do you know about Christine? I've never spoken of her."

"Daniel told me about the man in the mask who lost his lover and burned the opera house down. How many masked men are in Paris who have such a voice as yours?"

"I am a different person than I was then. I've tried to be better than I was before. I gave up my music as part of my penance. I hate what I did before. The only reason I can give is that I was isolated for so long that when I found someone I could share a part of my life with I became possessive and jealous. I thought that what I felt for Christine was love, but I came to realize that she was more companion than lover. I would have made love to her if she hadn't been in love with someone else. I don't want to lie to you. If she had encouraged me I would have become her lover. I'm glad we were never together just as I am glad that you were never with anyone else." he said emotionally.

"Do you still want me knowing I would have made love to another if she had wanted me?"

"Erik of course I still want to be with you. I'm not as innocent as everyone believes. When we were home in Virginia there was this neighbor boy that I had a crush on since I was about ten years old. He never noticed me in all the years we visited each others homes. Not until last year. I had a birthday party and turned twenty. It was as if he hadn't seen me before. The last time we had seen each other we were about fifteen. I was all legs and flat where men like curves. Father said I was a late bloomer. Luke suddenly lavished all this attention on me and we got carried away one night. The only thing that stopped us from completing the deed was father came home early. Luke ran out the back and father and I left for Paris the next day. So I could have lost something that I'm glad I gave to you. Still want me?"

"Yes, I do." He bent his head toward her and thought he heard her whisper the words he thought he would never hear from anyone. He heard her whisper "I love you."

He fused his lips to hers and kissed her with all the love he hhadbottled inside for most of his life .He didn't want to break the contact but knew he had to let her breathe again ..

"I love you Samantha. More than I ever thought possible to love anyone. I vow to be the kind of person who deserves your love."

They were interrupted by the men whistling and making remarks like," How some guys have all the luck and "When was the wedding going to be?"

This last comment reminded Erik of the other subject he needed to talk to Samantha about.

"Will you meet me here tonight after you finish in the galley?"

"Yes Erik, I will. You can have me anytime anywhere," she said. Then with a quick kiss she was gone.

Erik had a feeling that she wouldn't always be so easy to manage. He thought about trying to make her mad just so they could make up. He had heard the men say that sex after an argument was the best they ever had.

It was still so new to Erik to have these kind of thoughts. He had never thought to have someone love him. He had been so unsure of Christine that he had never tried to make love to her. He knew that at one time he could have, but something had kept him from that last step. He hadn't told Samantha this, but there were times when he and Christine had been together when he knew she would have let him make love to her. She had at one time had feelings for him. He had destroyed that chance for lov . His love with Samantha was stronger than what he had felt for Christine. He vowed he would not let his insecurities ruin his chance for happiness this time.

Erik brought his mind back to focus on the tasks he had to before he could see Samantha again. He would see her at the afternoon meal but he would have no chance to talk to her. He would just have to be patient and see her tonight as they had planned.

He joined the other men and kept busy until they went below for their meal. He saw Samantha and couldn't help that he kept his eyes on her. He would have been uncomfortable if he had seen the knowing looks that passed between the others.

They couldn't help but notice that Sam took every opportunity to touch Erik and filled his cup and offered food before he asked.

The meal was finally finished and for once no one lingered at the table. Even Sam's father had left. The only two who were in no hurry to leave it seemed were Erik and Samantha.

Erik rose from his seat and slowly walked toward Samantha. He kept his eyes on hers. When he was close enough he reached for her. Samantha shook her head. Erik hesitated and heard her say ,"Jim is still here."

He looked behind him and saw that Jim, the galley cook, was cleaning up after their meal.

"Jim I'm going to take a break for a few minutes. I'll be back in a bit." She then grabbed Erik's hand and pulled him behind her toward her cabin.

Jim had been trying to think of a reason to leave when Sam had spoken to him. It sure was hard to play matchmaker he thought to himself.

Samantha pulled Erik into her cabin and launched herself into his arms. She placed her lips on his and kissed him as she had wanted since she saw him enter the galley. She pressed her body against his and felt his body react to hers. He wanted her just as she wanted him. She began to explore his body with her hands. She touched where he could not hide the fact that he wanted her.

She gently began to move her hand against him and heard a groan from Erik. That she had the power to make him feel this way excited her. She knew he had the same power over her.

Erik was losing control. He knew he had to stop, but not just yet. Just a little more and he would stop. He had to touch her. He moved his mouth against hers and he felt her shiver and press harder against him. That she felt this way about him was almost enough to make him forget that they shouldn't continue to do what they both wanted.

Gently he moved Samantha away from him. He took several deep breathes and looked into her face. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were still slightly parted and she was breathing heavily.

He almost kissed her again. The thought of whether she may be carrying his child made him back a step away from her. If she wasn't pregnant he wanted to be sure that the next time they made love they were man and wife.

"What's wrong Erik? No one will come in here. I know you want me as much I want you," she said.

"Yes I want you but I respect both you and your father. The next time we make love I want us to be man and wife. Will you marry me Samantha?"

For a few moments she said nothing just looked at him. He began to feel a little worried that she may not want to be his wife.

She threw her arms around his neck and murmured "Yes". At least he thought that was what he heard. Her kiss was all the answer he needed. All the love she felt for him was in that kiss.

She pulled back from him and asked ,"When do you want to get married? When we get to England?"

"No I think your father would want to marry us." He didn't tell her that he and her father had already talked of marriage and the possibility of a child. If she didn't think of it he didn't want to worry her. Time would reveal what was to be. Erik wasn't quite sure what he wanted. He decided to let fate decide what was to be. Fate hadn't been kind to him before but now with Samantha he felt that his luck had changed. The fact she loved him and had willingly gave herself to him proved he had indeed changed his luck.

"I should get back before someone comes looking for me. You need to get back to the galley too," said Erik reluctantly. It wasn't easy for him to deny himself something he wanted so badly.

"Alright. Will you still meet me tonight after the evening meal?" she asked.

Erik knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help himself. He needed to be with her. Even if all he could do was hold and kiss her it would be enough until they could be together as they both wanted, so he told her yes. He may suffer a lonely night but he had done that many times before and survived. Somehow he knew it would be harder this time.

"I'll speak to your father when I finish my afternoon duties." With one last kiss he left her.

Erik hadn't been with Samantha long enough to know intimate details such as her monthly cycle. In a matter of weeks or days he could know if she carried his child. He just had to be patient and wait and see what was to happen.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

**Expectation**

Over the next few weeks everyone started to act so strangely toward Samantha. No one would let her do the things that she normally did. It was as if they thought she were sick or something. Maybe they knew something she didn't. Did she look ill? She had looked in the mirror several times but could see nothing different about her except that she seemed to smile for no reason and felt happier than she had ever been. Erik was the reason for her smiles and the contentment she now felt to be a woman. Being such a close nit crew not much could be kept secret. This time was the exception as Sam could find nothing that would cause the changed attitude in everyone on ship. What they didn't know as actual facts they speculated the rest.

Had she known everyone knew of her intimacies with Erik she would have dissolved into the planks on the ship's deck. This morning she left her cabin and went to the galley to get the bucket that had all the scraps from the meal preparation and the cleaning up after. Left sitting too long the ship's rats would come and feast where the human population ate. No matter how many times she told herself she would empty the bucket more often somehow that chore got neglected until the very last moment.

She had every intention of going on as usual. Heaving upward with an unladylike grunt Sam hoisted the heavy bucket. She'd never admit that at times it was a real struggle to climb the galley stairs and not spill half her load.

Her hands may be busy with a nasty chore but her mind worked overtime to work out a few issues plaguing her. She and Erik had been careful to keep their lustful glances to a minimum and no more nights spent making love as if it would be the last time.

So far the right moment to approach her father hadn't presented itself. Having slipped once Sam wanted the next time she and Erik came together to be as man and wife. Guilt should not plague her but it did nonetheless. For all her brave talk of being mistress of her own life Sam wanted to keep her father's good opinion of her intact. The men wouldn't judge her but they certainly might kill Erik if they thought he was playing fast and loose with her.

Behind her she heard shouts from the men for her to put the bucket down, though their words were more colorful. She turned and put the bucket down and saw that everyone was looking at her then they all turned to Erik where he stood beside her father. She resisted the urge to look in a mirror to see if something ghastly from her burden had made its way to her face.

As silence among the men continued Sam turned her gaze to Erik giving him a look full of questions. He went to her and picked up the bucked and dumped the contents overboard much more easily than she ever could. On top of everything else that was the last straw. Any moment she would either disgrace herself with uncharacteristic feminine tears or grab the first thing she could lay her hands on and thrash someone senseless. It was a tossup who she'd go for first.

Erik felt shamed he had not offered her this service until after being prompted by the crew. Small courtesies men normally gave to women were foreign to him.

He didn't know how the crew had learned Samantha may be in a delicate condition or if they merely speculated as to how intimate he and Samantha had been. The number of times they had been caught in an embrace would give some indication of their feelings. When anywhere near Samantha he felt an irresistible pull in her direction.

Sly innuendos had been the theme of late. Nothing objectionable as to his character or  
Samantha's but something along the lines of weddings and time slipping by too fast.

Without a word Samantha left him and returned below deck. Knowing her propensity for not liking them treating her differently Erik deduced he would be in for a dressing down later.

Erik wished he knew if Samantha were going to have his child or not. It seemed she was unaware of the possibility of a child. He didn't want to worry her needlessly so he hadn't spoken to her about it.

Captain Sinclair came to stand beside him. He put his hand on Erik's shoulder and said, "For all our sakes please speak to her. I guess we all protected her a little too much. God I wish her Mother were here. I feel so inadequate at the moment."

"I'll speak to her this evening," Erik responded distractedly. He must come up with the proper way to approach such a delicate subject.

With a nod the captain left Erik to ponder things alone. How he would approach the subject of whether or not there was to be a child had never been something Erik needed to think about before Samantha came into his life. Since he and Christine had never been together as he and Samantha had there had never been the possibility of a child.

Tonight he would know if he was to be a father or not. It had been three weeks since he and Samantha had made love. It had been long enough for her to have had the cycle of life that each woman has in readiness to nurture a new being.

Erik kept himself busy over the next few hours. It seemed to him that the time to stop for the evening meal would never come, but it finally did. They all went below to wash up and took their places at the table. Samantha was there and she had the big tray with food loaded on it. As one the crew shot to their feet and tried to take the tray from her saying it was too heavy for her.

Samantha dropped the tray of food onto the table scattering everything across the table's rough hewn surface. Angrily she stalked off leaving them staring after her in consternation.

Heatedly she tossed over her shoulder, "If you don't think I can do my job just say so. If you don't want me here, fine. When we get to England I'll leave and book passage on another ship for home. I don't have to stay here. I have a home unlike some people." A loud hiccupping sob broke from Sam as she ran toward the passageway in the direction of her cabin.

"Erik," said the Captain in a coaxing tone.

"Yes sir, I'll speak to her now."

"About damn time if you ask me," said Nate.

Erik left and went in search of Samantha. He found her in her cabin lying on her bunk crying so hard that her shoulders shook. It hurt him to see her like this.

He sat beside her and waited to see if she would tell him to go away. When she didn't he laid down beside her. He put his arms around her and pulled her close so he could cradle her in his strong arms.

"Why is everyone treating me as if I can't do my job? I've always done everything that I've been asked. What changed? Why don't they want me here anymore?"

Samantha felt Erik sigh. He tightened his arms around her. He gently nuzzled her ear and then moved to her neck. As he felt her relax he moved his lips back to her ear.

Erik spoke softly into her ear as he put his hand on her stomach and gently moved his hand across her now flat stomach.

"Samantha have you thought that when we made love we might have made a baby? Has enough time passed for you to know?"

For a moment he thought she hadn't heard him. He then felt her hand on his. She pressed his hand into her stomach then she tuned so that she was facing him.

She placed her lips on his and kissed him and put her hands on his face. Wonder filled her tear wet eyes.

"Erik do you think I could be? I've been so distracted lately by a certain person that I haven't paid attention to my normal functions. I could be. We should know in a few days. If I don't…if I haven't…"

She wouldn't look at him as she spoke. He could see the pink darken her cheeks. Even though they had been as close as two people can be she was still shy with him about such a personal subject.

To save her any further unease Erik placed his fingers on her lips to silence her. He may have been a virgin himself but he had learned a thing or two about women living underneath so many women and men, much more than he really wanted at times. He enlightened Samantha to that fact saving her from having to continue.

"Erik a baby. Our baby, yours and mine."

"What if he…what if he or she has a face like mine? What kind of life is that for a child?" Nightmarish images from his own childhood flashed before him sending dread throughout his being.

"Erik if our child is different in any way we will still love it and let it know we want it. I love you and we will love our baby." For Sam there would be no difference in a perfect child or one born looking as Erik did or worse. It would be a part of her and Erik. A child born of their love.

"Our child will have so many people to give it love. You know that all the crew will want to claim that they are an uncle, and my father will have something he has wanted for a very long time, a grandchild."

"Perhaps we should get married before we reach England. I thought you might want a little more than we can provide on board the ship, now I think we should have your father perform the ceremony before we get to England. We could spend all our nights together. We could wake up every morning and make love."

He pulled her on top of him and began to kiss her neck and caress her body. He slowly moved his body against hers. He moved his lips to hers and kissed her softly. His breathing became labored as ardor rose.

Erik took his mouth from hers and sucked air into his lungs. He waited until she opened her eyes and looked at him before he spoke.

"Should I tell your father that we want to be married this evening or is that too soon for you?" he asked not sure of her answer yet. So few times in his life had he ever been truly happy or gotten anything he wanted. He had learned to settle for the things he could manage to scrape together from the leavings of others.

"I don't want to spend another night without you. Tonight we will be together and all the nights for the rest of our lives."

Erik prayed that they would both have a long life. Perhaps fifty or so would maybe be enough to show her how much he loved her, maybe.

Erik left Samantha before things could get out of hand. He went to look for her father. He took his time because he was feeling guilty because he still had a couple secrets that he hadn't told her. He hadn't told her about the small chest of gold coins stored beneath his bunk or about the ring that he kept that he had given to Christine and she had given back to him before she went with Raoul.

At first he had kept the ring because it was one more thing that connected him to her. Later he kept it as a reminder not to dream of things he couldn't have. Maybe he should throw it overboard. No, he wanted no secrets between them. She might throw it overboard herself. This thought brought a smile to his face. Erik thought Samantha would be a very possessive woman. Erik already knew for certain what he claimed as his would stay his until he died.

Erik realized that he had never really smiled in his entire life. Not even with Christine. He tried to remember when Christine was a little girl. He didn't think he had ever smiled during the times he spoke to comfort her as a child missing her dead father or later when he began to teach her how to sing the songs that he wrote for his music.

Maybe he wouldn't tell Samantha about the nights he spent composing music and songs just for Christine. Although she may know that part of his life if Daniel knew about him.

Erik saw Captain Sinclair and went to speak with him as the captain relaxed in a quiet moment. The rest of the crew had gathered slightly further down so as to give the captain his privacy.

"Would you marry us this evening?" Well damn. That is certainly not how he planned to ask for the man's only daughter.

Captain Sinclair raised a questioning eyebrow and Erik nodded his head in answer to the unspoken question. If Samantha was not with child now then she soon would be if he had anything to say in the matter. Why spoil the Captain's hopeful musings? Erik felt relief Samantha's father did not wish to filet him or worse.

"I guess we're going to have a wedding gentlemen. Put on your best shirts and wash your ugly faces so you don't offend our Sam. Perhaps Samantha would be more appropriate for tonight. Our little girl has grown up. We can give her care over to Erik. God keep you strong my boy because our Samantha can be a bit stubborn at times."

They all came to congratulate him and some even threatened to do horrible things to him if he ever hurt her. The smiles accompanying those threats were belied by the serious intent reflecting back at Erik.

Erik wasn't worried. He knew he would cut the arm from his shoulder before he would knowingly hurt her. They all headed below to prepare for the evening to come.

Erik headed toward the woman who would be his love and the woman who gave his life meaning. His beautiful Samantha.

No more lonely nights. Now he knew what other men felt in the arms of the person they loved and who loved them in return. He would soon know the joy of a child who would call him father if God saw fit to bless him. Now Erik did indeed consider it as a blessing. One he prayed for with all his heart.

Please, God, he prayed don't let anything happen to take away what I have come to value above everything. Let me have this and I'll not ask for anything for myself again.

He went below with the others to change and prepare to be joined with his Samantha.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine **

They couldn't have asked for a more beautiful night. The stars were shining down from a clear sky. They sparkled like diamonds hung just for this special night. A gentle breeze blew across the deck bringing the fresh scent of the ocean and a soothing sway to the ship.

Erik stood beside Nate who had claimed the right to be best man. Daniel thought he should have been the best man since he had counseled Samantha on how to get her man but deferred to the older deckhand.

Erik only half listened to all the banter. His mind was focused on the passage opening where Samantha would be coming from soon. The hammering of his heart beat so hard and fast it visibly shook him. The tremor in his hands he hid by curling his fingers tightly into the palm of his hand.

Erik heard Jim playing the Wedding March on his squeeze box. He saw Samantha coming toward him. She had on a dress that was cream colored and had lace trim around the shoulders. She wore a pearl necklace. She looked as if she had dropped from heaven. Surely no ordinary woman could be this radiant. Her gown may be slightly yellowed but to Erik it seemed perfect, as perfect as the woman wearing it.

She came to stand beside Erik and turned herself so that she was facing him. She smiled and took his hand in hers. Erik bent his head and kissed their joined hands.

Samantha was grateful her father always made her bring at least one dress and her mother's pearls with her on every voyage they took. She wanted to look feminine and more beautiful than the woman he had loved before. His Christine. This gown had been her mother's wedding dress. No one, not even her father, knew she carried it in her trunk wherever she went so that she felt close to the mother she did not know.

She wanted Erik to think of only her and for Christine to be only a faint pleasant memory. Samantha was grateful to Christine for being in Erik's life so that he had a little spot of light in his dark unhappy existence until he found his true love.

Now she would give him everything he would ever need. He was hers and she was his. Soon they would have the blessing of a little boy or girl to share in their happiness. Samantha felt sure she carried the lovechild she and Erik created that first night they discovered their love. If not then there was plenty of time to make it a reality.

Samantha brought her mind back to the words her father was saying. They exchanged their vows and her father pronounced them man and wife. She wished she had listened more closely to the ceremony but her attention had been solely upon Erik and the possibility of a child.

Erik whispered "I love you" before he bent his head and kissed her warm lips. His mouth covered hers just as she told him that she loved him. Her words were a warm breath against his lips. Erik felt if God struck him dead he could die knowing he had at last been loved as a man.

"Let's all toast the bride and groom. We don't have Champaign, but I remember getting some very fine French wine," said Captain Sinclair. He had to wipe his eyes and nose with a handkerchief due to his overemotional state. More sniffles and sounds of noses being blown could be heard from the crowd of gruff men.

They all started to go below, but Erik pulled Samantha back into his arms and dropped his lips to hers to steal another kiss. He put all the passion into the kiss that he couldn't show her in front of her father or the other men. She returned his kiss with a passion to equal his own.

They pulled apart reluctantly and went below to join the others in celebration. Erik felt as if he had entered into a waking dream. A wonderful one to be sure.

As they entered the room they were bombarded with bits of paper. Erik laughed along with Samantha and the others.

Nate offered Erik a cup of wine. He was reluctant to take it after what drink had done to him the last time. Nate finally convinced him that one drink wouldn't do any harm.

When Nate offered a cup to Samantha she said she would prefer water. Her cheeks turned pink and the men turned and glared at Nate. He realized what he had done and went to get her water. They all knew of Sam's probable condition even if they would not put their suspicions into words.

"Here you go Samantha, fresh cool water."

She had stopped correcting everyone when they called her Samantha. Erik had only called her Sam when she reminded him. Truthfully she wanted to be Samantha. She was a woman after all. More so now than ever before since Erik came into her life. She looked at him as she thought this and as if he knew she thoughts of him, Erik looked into her eyes. They exchanged a silent message to each other as lovers always do.

Erik wanted to be alone with Samantha but he didn't know how to leave gracefully. He did not want the whole ship to know he couldn't wait to be alone with his wife and take her to bed. His body was already anticipating her touch and her kisses. In such a short time his body had come to crave hers in a most disturbing way, a most delightfully disturbing way. Samantha's father solved his dilemma.

"Perhaps we should all lend a hand and move Erik's things into Samantha's cabin. They can get settled in and have some time alone. As of now you are relieved of your duties. Both of you. No arguments. I was young and in love once not so long ago." said Captain Sinclair.

They all gathered Erik's few belongings and put them in Samantha's cabin. They left and Erik and Samantha were alone.

Now that he was alone with her he was nervous. He didn't want her to think he was an insatiable animal. Some fiend only wanting to join with her in lust.

Samantha moved toward Erik and whispered in his ear. Her breath tickled his ear and sent a shiver up his spine. His already heightened senses had him nearly jumping out of his skin.

"Hello Erik Lucerne."

"Hello Mrs. Erik Lucerne." Those were words Erik had never thought he would hear.

Erik swept her into his arms and placed her gently on the bed. He gazed into her eyes a few seconds then removed his mask. He then removed his shirt. He sat down beside her and placed his hand on her ankle.

He first removed her shoes. He then placed his hand on her ankle. Erik slid his hand along the silky stockings that had driven him mad when he caught a glimpse of them as Samantha moved about. He gently began to remove her stockings that were hidden under her dress.

Having removed her leggings he began to unbutton the front of her dress. He pulled it from her shoulders. He wasn't as patient as he was with the leggings. He removed all her clothing so that she was naked before him. All that covered her was a blush.

He stood to remove his pants but Samantha put her hand on his and shook her head. She stood and began to kiss his face. First one side then the other. She moved her lips to his chest. She placed kisses everywhere. She slowly began to run her lips down his chest. At the point where she met the top of his pants she stopped then reached up and undid the buttons. It excited her that she could feel the proof of his desire with her fingers.

She gently pushed him onto the bed so that she could remove his boots. She then began to remove the last piece of clothing that hid him from her.

She caught her breath when she saw him. He was as good to look at as she remembered. He may have a scarred face but the fates that had given him such a face had blessed him with a beautiful body. The only things that marred the perfect canvas of Erik's body were scars on his back she felt certain that were caused by a whip.

She lay down beside him and touched his face before kissing his lips softly. From his lips she made her way over his body once more. She placed kisses in all the places she had wanted to before and kissed him as she had wanted to the last time they made love but had been too shy to explore.

It was torture but Erik let Samantha do as she wanted. It was becoming harder for him not to take control and do what he wanted. He wanted to take her and love her until they both were drained and their bodies were so satisfied that they couldn't move.

Just when he thought he couldn't stand the strain of not touching her she moved over and she joined her body with his. She began the slow movements that would bring them the release they both wanted.

Erik ran his hands over her and returned her kisses. He finally could let himself do what he had wanted to do earlier. As the point of their passion reached its inevitable end they both whispered words of love and fueled their ardor to greater heights.

Samantha threw her head back moaning in her ecstasy. Hearing the evidence of Samantha's reaching her climax Erik released what little control he had on his straining release.

They both lay still and replete in the aftermath of their lovemaking. Neither seemed inclined to break the mood of the moment. They were content to hold each other and relive the past few moments in their own thoughts.

Passion spent Erik discovered left him weak as a kitten but pleasantly sated.

Erik knew he had to tell her about the ring. He didn't want to ruin the mood or make her angry, but he had to tell her tonight.

"Samantha there is one more part of my story that I haven't told you. Not because I didn't want you to know, but because it isn't important to me anymore."

He told her about the ring and why he had kept it. As he told her he removed the ring from his strong box and showed it to her.

He gave her the ring and waited to hear what she would say. She surprised him when she did speak.

"Perhaps some day we can return it to her and let her know what she meant to you and that you have found your own happiness. Not anytime soon. Let's wait until we're both so wrinkled and old we can't remember why you have the ring.

I don't want to meet the person you felt so much for. I'm not that forgiving. I might not be so ladylike as I usually am."

She handed Erik back the ring and he went to put it back in the box. She again looked at his naked body and marveled that he was hers.

He turned and caught her looking at him and he smiled. Erik would never have believed it if someone had told him one day he would strut around without clothing or even his most important attire, his mask. To do so in front of anyone, especially a woman never seemed possible or indeed had been anything he had considered.

"There is one more thing I haven't told you about." He went back to get the strong box.

"For a man who lived his life alone you sure have a lot of secrets," said Samantha. If he pulled something else out of there from that Daaé woman she may have a need to thump Erik on his handsome head.

When he reached her he sat on the side of the bed and opened the lid to the chest. He let her look inside.

All she said was, "So I married a rich man who can give me the finer things in life. Right now I want him to make love to me again." Sam gave him a sultry look.

Erik needed no further encouragement. He was ready to satisfy any need she might have. Later he would ask why she had not shown any interest in his fortune. He had hoped to impress her.

Through the night they made love many times. At times they just held each other and talked. Nothing serious, just the kind of talk that people talk about when they are getting to know one another after sharing one of life's most earth shattering experiences.

"Erik I have a secret of my own to tell you. Well it isn't a secret from the others. They all know that Father is a little bit better off than most. He doesn't like to show it in front of the crew because he wants them to know he doesn't think he is better than they are."

"How rich?" Erik asked knowing her father would steel his thunder.

"Well I don't know the exact dollar amount but we couldn't spend it all unless we tried really hard. There is enough to make sure all our children have what they need."

Erik was disappointed that his bit of gold couldn't compare to the wealth of her father. He had been so proud to show her that he could provide adequately for her. It had seemed a great wealth until he heard of her father's riches.

Samantha noticed his silence and looked at him. He had such a forlorn look on his face and his eyes looked sad. She wondered what had put that look on his face. She thought back over their conversation and realized what was bothering him.

"Erik I don't need any more than I have right now with you. You make me feel more loved than I have ever thought possible. I only want you to love me and give me children to share our lives with."

Sam scooped up a handful of coins letting them sift through her fingers as she said, "Erik if you were a pauper I couldn't care less. Although I somehow doubt with your lively mind you'd ever sink that low. What matters to me is that you love me, accept me with all my warts, and I do have many you have yet to see.

Erik for the greater part of my life I have been on this ship with men who are considered less than acceptable in society's circles. We do not live in luxury aboard ship. We have our needs met and that is enough.

A happy life with you will be enough. To me love is far more valuable than any king's ransom."

To prove how much she loved him she made love to him as she had not before. She wanted to please him so she did all she could to show him that she wanted only him and wanted to make him happy. She did things to Erik that would make her blush later, but for now she told him how much pleasure he gave her, how his body excited her and how it made her feel to give him the same pleasure he gave to her.

Much later Erik woke to find Samantha lying asleep on his chest. He couldn't believe the things she had done to him. He had seen men and women perform these things before, but he had never thought he would know such pleasure as Samantha had given him. She had made him feel as if he alone could give her all she wanted.

He hoped he could live up to all the praise she had given him. Perhaps it wasn't as important as he thought to have so much money. He would give it all up if it meant he could spend the rest of his life with Samantha.

Right now he wanted to do to her the things she had done to him. He moved his hand over her back and she began to stir. He gently turned her onto her back. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. He bent to her and began to place kisses along her body. He moved his hands to caress her. She began to move against him as his caresses stoked the low flame into an inferno. He put her arms above her head and began to work his way down her body.

"Erik, please."

At her plea he gave her what she wanted and needed. Later Samantha broke the silence that had overtaken them in the lazy afterglow of passion.

"Erik, do you believe you're the most important person in my life? I only want you. Nothing more. Well perhaps I would like to have your child. Everything I need to be happy is in this room with me. I love you Erik, more than I could convey to you if I had a thousand lifetimes."

"I might begin to believe if we spend the next fifty or so years together as we spent the last few hours. It's hard for me to accept that someone can want me as you do. I spent so many years alone it is hard for me to believe you want me. My own mother threw me away without a backward glance. Christine turned to another."

Clasping her hand within his strong grip he pleaded, "Please be patient with me. I know you love me, but sometimes the doubts come back."

"You may have all the time you need. I'll just have to be sure to tell you every day that I love you. Now go to sleep and rest up for all the nights ahead that I have to spend proving I love you," said Samantha playfully.

As he fell asleep Erik wondered what his future would be like. He looked forward to what was to come. For the first time in his life he was looking forward to the future. He now had a life, not just an existence. No more dark lonely nights. No more solitude, period.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Time had flown by for Erik. One day of pure happiness ran into another so he did not know or care if it had been a week or a month as long as every day and night he could spend time with Samantha, his lawfully wedded wife, not someone he forced to wear a gown and ring of his choosing, not Christine, thank God.

The ship was docking and everyone was doing all the things that needed to be done to safely bring the ship in. After docking and all the formalities were finished the cargo had to be unloaded and the new cargo loaded in preparation to leave and head for America.

Erik looked forward to seeing Samantha's home. She had described it to him. He could tell that she loved it and missed it even though she loved life aboard ship with her father.

Captain Sinclair had decided that he would not go back out when the ship left America. He wanted to be there when Samantha gave birth to his first grandchild. He had missed Samantha's birth. He regretted that, but he would be there for Samantha when the time came.

"Do you want to come with me and Erik father?"

"No, you two spend the next few days sightseeing and enjoying some time alone away from the ship. Stay in that fancy hotel everyone was raving over the last time we were here. Go to the theatre and see a play. Anything you want. My treat. Call it a wedding gift." He handed her a small leather pouch he had hooked to his pants pocket.

"That should be enough to last for the next few days. Don't come back until we're ready to leave. Understood?"

"Thank you Dad."

Samantha's father felt his throat tighten. She hardly ever called him "Dad" anymore. She called him father most of the time or Captain like the men did. He missed his little girl.

Erik and Samantha departed the ship. Erik was a little nervous. He had never walked among people in daylight except for the priests, the crew and the natives of the island they had visited. Places he felt accepted and safe.

He was afraid that people would not accept him and the fact that he was with a beautiful woman would draw undue attention. Likely they would point and speculate as to Samantha's mental state to be with him.

As soon as they were on the dock Samantha took his hand and looked around as if daring anyone to say anything. No one seemed to care. They all had their own business to take care of.

Samantha visibly relaxed as she realized they were just two more bodies on a dock crawling with hundreds of people and everything else one found on a busy dock when ships were coming in and going out.

She had been so worried. She and Erik had already had a heated discussion about her father's generous gift. Once Erik understood that her father would never try to belittle him in any way he had accepted the gift a little more graciously.

Samantha pulled him after her and headed toward a carriage with a tired looking horse hooked to it. They got in and Samantha gave the driver the name of the hotel.

At the hotel Erik could feel the eyes of some of the people directed toward him. This environment was something quite different from the hustle and bustle on the dock. He thought he heard a few horrified gasps. He couldn't be sure because Samantha distracted him by telling him all the things she wanted to show him. She wanted to take him to her favorite place to eat and to the park where she liked to walk. They could even rent horses and ride.

Over the next few days Samantha showed him everything she wanted him to see. Things his life underground had denied him. Most of the time he forgot about how he looked in the shear zest for life Samantha showed him. If people made comments he didn't notice. He had eyes and ears only for Samantha.

They ate in their room most nights. They couldn't seem to make the effort to leave the room to dine in the hotel or venture out to find a nice restaurant.

On the day before they were to return to the ship Erik noticed that Samantha was very quiet and deep in thought. He knew when she was ready she would tell him what was bothering her. When she did tell him it was something he never would have guessed.

"Erik, yesterday I heard people at the desk talking about the wonderful time they had at the theatre the night before. They said the singer was a young woman named Christine Daaé. I asked if we could get some tickets and asked them to send them here if they managed to obtain any."

She reached into her pocket and took out the two pieces of paper and handed them to him. She watched his face closely for his reaction.

"I want you to see her so that you can be sure that you are over her. I need to be sure. We both need to be sure."

"I'm glad we went shopping and bought all these new clothes It seems we will have need of them." Sam tried to sound unconcerned when everything within her wanted to yank back those tickets and toss them out the window after ripping them into tiny pieces.

As his silence dragged on she had to ask, "Are you upset with me Erik? I don't want you to be hurt again but we both need to be sure. I don't want doubts to creep in and ruin what we have."

"I'm not upset or mad at you. I'm just amazed that you love me so much that you would take this chance. I know how I feel, but if you need this we'll go and lay all the ghosts from my past to rest for good. I have no love for Christine or at least not the kind I feel for you. I have only fond memories of a young girl who was in my life and gave me a reason to get up each day. A reason to live when life seemed unbearable."

Erik wasn't sure what emotions he felt. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. He just knew that he no longer loved Christine as he had before. He hoped he wasn't making a mistake by agreeing to go tonight. He knew that Samantha had his heart. Of that he had no doubt.

They got ready to go that night in silence. Both were deep in their own thoughts. Samantha hoped she could remain calm. She would hate to have a brawl with a crowd of strangers looking on. If that woman glanced at him a little too long she would be sporting a black eye.

_That Daaé woman had her chance with Erik and she threw him away. He is mine now and I will be damned if some woman from his past is going to lay claim to what is mine._

Samantha was once again having second thoughts about the evening. If she thought about it she had doubts long before she had heard of Christine Daaé being in London or performing on one of its largest venues for entertainment.

She wanted to rescind her offer to Erik but knew she couldn't do that without letting him know of her change of heart. Bad enough she had to hear them inside her own head without giving voice to them.

When they were ready they went downstairs to the waiting carriage. Not one word was spoken. Erik took her hand and gave her an encouraging squeeze. He held her hand all the way to the theatre.

At the theatre he found that Samantha had gotten box seats. They would have the privacy they wanted. He was grateful that he wouldn't have to sit among all those people his first time back in the world of music he had loved so much.

His heart was pounding in anticipation. To hear music again made the blood race in his veins. Music had always been his first mistress. His first love.

They were led to their box by a young man who only cast Erik lingering looks from the corner of his eye. They waited for the curtain to go up and signal the beginning of the night's entertainment. Erik sat forward in his seat in anticipation.

Sam looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He looked like a little boy waiting for a special treat. His face was alight with eagerness. She had to say she had never seen him looking more handsome than at this very moment.

The music began to play and the curtain separated and there was Christine. She looked just as young and beautiful as he remembered. He could admire her beauty and her voice but he didn't feel the emotions that he used to feel when he saw her. The hunger for her touch or the need to hear her voice was no longer the burning desire in his belly he had felt for so many years.

He didn't feel the gnawing need for things he couldn't have. He didn't want her as he once had. He felt the relief wash over him. Perhaps he hadn't been as sure as he thought. He had spent many years loving Christine in one way or another. He had watched her grow from a child to a young woman.

Christine's voice was even better than before. It made him proud that he had played a small part in teaching her what he had to give. His music would most likely never be heard in public but the voice he had trained had been heard by thousands of people all over the world.

When the music started Samantha took Erik's hand. She held it through the entire performance. They remained in their seats until the final note was sung and Christine was accepting the applause of the audience.

Erik stood and moved into the light. He clapped his hands in appreciation for her talent. He could finally put the last part of his past behind him. He shouted his own Brava to add to those coming from the audience.

As he stood there he saw Christine turn toward him and it seemed as if she looked directly at him. She raised the rose she had in her hand and gave a slight nod of her head in his direction.

Samantha stepped forward into the light with Erik. She wrapped her arms around his right arm and leaned her head against his shoulder. If this would be seen as an open declaration of their connection Sam didn't care.

Christine turned back toward the audience that still wanted more. She gave a final bow and left the stage.

Erik took Samantha's left hand and raised it to his lips. He kissed the ring on her finger reverently.

"Let's go home," he murmured. He had said his last goodbye to his past and Christine. A past that had many regrets.

They rode back to the hotel in silence. They held hands and every once in a while Erik would raise their joined hands to place a soft kiss on the back of Samantha's hand. It seemed that they both needed the reassurance of the others presence.

As the door closed behind them, Erik took Samantha in his arms and kissed her mouth passionately. He began to walk her backwards toward the bed. When they were at the bed Erik released Samantha and silently began to remove her dress. When the last article of clothing was removed he laid her down on the bed.

Keeping his eyes on hers he removed his own clothing. When his last piece of clothing was dropped to the floor he joined her on the bed.

He then began to love her in the most tender and loving way he could. He wanted her to know she was the most precious and most important person to him.

All the love he felt for her was in his touch and in his voice as he told her how much he loved her and how important she was to him. He wanted her to at last know that his thoughts were all for her. He had truly let his past go.

Samantha never felt more loved than she did that night. Erik was so tender and loving. He only wanted to please her, to meet her needs. His hands and lips cherished her. His words encouraged her to give back to him all that he gave to her. No more doubts crowded her mind.

They fell asleep in each other's arms as they had many nights before. Erik rested his hand on Samantha's stomach as if to protect the small life growing there. Sometimes he would move his hand as if in search of a sign of life from his child.

Samantha rested her hand over Erik's. She pressed his hand into her. He made her feel safe and protected even in sleep.

She knew Erik was worried about what their child would look like and whether he could be a good father.

Silently she promised him that they would learn to be parents together. As long as they loved each other and the children they created everything else would come in time.

Samantha couldn't resist touching Erik. She was trailing her hand along his body when Erik woke up and his eyes met hers. He smiled at her. That smile was the only invitation Samantha needed to continue her exploration of him.

She woke hours later and felt that she needed to have a ham sandwich with pickles. Not just any pickle but the sourest pickle imaginable. She could almost taste the pickle in her mouth.

She put her hand on Erik's shoulder and shook him gently. When he made no response she shook him harder. He opened his eyes and looked at her questioningly.

"I'm hungry. I would like a ham sandwich and a big dill pickle, and cake. Chocolate cake, and a glass of milk."

Erik waited to see if that was the end of her list of what she wanted to eat. It was five o'clock in the morning. How she could want to eat these foods now was a mystery to him, but if she wanted them he would look all over London to find what she wanted.

So far Samantha had no symptoms that other women experienced during their confinement. This was the first time she felt a craving for anything. Her father had told her that her mother had craved the oddest foods at the oddest times. She had also suffered morning sickness until about her six or seventh month.

As he shoved his legs into his trousers Erik prayed he did not give anyone a fright at this hour. For his newly acquired wife Erik would turn London upside down to obtain her every desire. Erik left and went in search of someone to help him get the things that Samantha wanted.

He had been gone about an hour when he came back with a tray that held the food and drink she wanted. The night clerk had been willing to overlook Erik's mask in lieu of a large amount of coins dropped in his hand.

The man also aided Erik in finding what he would need from the kitchen. All in all Erik's first visit to a London hotel kitchen could be claimed as a success.

He set the tray on the table and went to Samantha's side of the bed. She was asleep. He gently laid his hand on her to waken her.

Drowsily she opened her eyes. She looked at him and told him she no longer wanted the food. He had taken too long. If he loved her he would have been faster. She was no longer hungry. She then turned over onto her side and went back to sleep.

To say that Erik was confused was an understatement. He didn't know what he had done to make her angry. He had only done as she asked him to do. How could she equate his tardiness with not loving her? Had she set a time limit then forgotten to inform him?

Erik shook his head and undressed and got into bed. He didn't know if he should touch her or not. Tentatively he laid his hand on her and slid it to her stomach. When she made no comment or had not moved away he slid his body closer so that they were touching. He hoped that whatever wrong he had committed she would forgive him before morning.

Erik awoke the next morning to find Samantha smiling at him as if the night before hadn't happened. She reached for him to pull him closer so she could easily reach his willing lips.

As Samantha moved to kiss Erik she suddenly felt extremely ill. She barely made it to the water closet before being violently sick. She thought it was never going to end.

Erik stood helplessly and watched Samantha from the doorway. He felt his own stomach revolt as he stood by Samantha not knowing if he should offer his help or even if she would have need of him. He went to her and placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her long hair away from her face. He tried to sooth her with words.

When she was finished she washed her face and brushed her teeth. In Erik's opinion she did not look at all well. Her usually healthy skin had a pale pallor he had never seen on her before.

"Don't look so worried Erik. I'm just suffering from morning sickness. Most women do. I guess my cravings and bad moods are also symptoms of my pregnancy."

"You will have to suffer like this every morning until the baby comes?" he asked worriedly. He felt certain that if men had to endure such things the human race would have become extinct long ago.

"Maybe not. Sometimes it stops as suddenly as it starts. At least that's what father told me. I'll just have to have toast in the mornings to settle my stomach before I get up in the morning."

"Breakfast in bed. I like the sound of that." Erik eyed her suggestively. Samantha began to think Erik would prove to be a virile man.

"Speaking of bed, we don't have to leave until later, let's go back to bed."

She then whispered in his ear all that she would do to him and Erik didn't argue with her. He wanted to do the same things to her.

Much later they packed all that they had bought and with a last look at the room they had shared the past two days, they left.

Everyone was busy when they arrived back at the ship. They carried their things below and returned to the deck to help make the ship ready for departure. At least Erik did.

Samantha was sat on a barrel and told not to move. It was a little annoying but very touching that they were concerned for her and wanted to take care of her. She'd let them coddle her for a while.

In the weeks to come they were to wonder what had taken possession their Sam and replaced her with a woman who cried for no apparent reason. Lost her temper over the slightest things then repented as she apologized profusely to whoever received her wrath.

One moment she was all smiles and then the next she was tearing into someone. They tried to avoid her when she was in one of her moods. They pitied poor Erik.

He let her vent her sudden anger on him. He never said anything, just let her rant and rave until whatever bothered her at the time was over. Her weeping, cursing, and apologizing seemed to be stuck in a vicious cycle.

It was to be a long voyage for everyone. Some thought it was the longest trip that they had ever taken and were thankful to see land ahead.

Samantha would be glad to see a doctor. She wanted to be sure her baby was healthy. She would be grateful for her bigger more comfortable bed. Erik was a big man. He was slightly longer than their bunk.

She hadn't minded sleeping so close to Erik but the poor man had to cling to the edge of the bed even sleeping flush against Samantha.

With her growing body it was even less roomy. Erik didn't complain. He never complained. He felt quite content with his new life.

Samantha on the other hand was not happy with anything lately. She knew she was unreasonable sometimes. She always apologized to the person she was berating after her venom had spewed forth. She certainly didn't like this part of being pregnant. She felt as if some demon took hold of her. Her father reassured her it was normal.

If Erik didn't love her he probably would have thrown her overboard. Everyone else would have helped. Just thinking this mad her cry incessantly.

Samantha had come to realize that Erik was a very tender and caring person. He had hid his true self behind the mask he wore. It was hard for him to let his tenderness show in case he got hurt. Only with Samantha did he let his guard down.

He was courteous and polite to everyone but didn't seek out the others for conversation or companionship. Until he and Samantha fell in love he had spent most of his time alone. Her father had gotten him to open up a little.

He still used his mask to shield himself from others. Only with her did he feel safe enough to show what he hid behind the mask. Not only his face, but a tender heart as well.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

The past weeks had not been the most pleasant for Erik, but he had done his best to keep Samantha happy. She was having a hard time with the mornings. Her skin looked pallid most of the time. She complained that her clothes no longer fit. Indeed she had blossomed. She was beginning to look like a very encumbered woman. If she resembled a waddling duck no one dared say so even if they privately thought so at least not after the first poor soul committing such a crime.

She needed constant reassurance from Erik. He was more than willing to tell her and show her that to him she was still the most beautiful woman in the world.

Sometimes she wondered how he could stand her moods. He was so patient with her. She knew most men would have not been so willing to let her vent on them.

She complained that she was getting fat and Nate had made the mistake of agreeing with her. After the dressing down she had given Nate everyone pretended not to hear her comments about how she looked. No one made the mistake of letting her corner them to ask point blank a question they knew better than to answer. Best to avoid the whole thing. They felt for Erik but no one offered to become Samantha's new target.

Erik was glad that they were on land once again. He thought that it would be easier on everyone to have a little space. Samantha could visit the shops looking for just the right clothe to fashion into gowns for their child. Everyone overlooked the fact that Samantha was a right fine net repairman but when it came to sewing garments she couldn't find the right end of the needle.

Captain Sinclair had arranged for the carriage that was to take them to their home he was to share with Samantha and her new husband.

Samantha's father had told Erik that since they were no longer captain and crew member, but father-in-law and son-in-law, he should call him by his given name, Michael, or call him Mike as his friends did.

Their home was just outside of town. It took about an hour to reach the place that was to be his new home and another new chapter in his life. During the journey Samantha held his hand giving him a reassuring squeeze every now and then as if she knew how nervous all of this made him. She and her father accepted him but would other family and friends be so accepting of his obvious flaw?

Samantha told him that the estate was called "The Willows". When they started down the road that led to the plantation house he could see why it had been called "The Willows". On either side of the long drive there were great willow trees with a large man made lake in the pasture. Erik had never seen such large trees. Indeed he had never seen so many trees at once or such lush green pastures or flowering gardens as he saw as they made their way to the huge plantation house he was to call home.

Mike told him that the servants would get their luggage and he would have them take it to the rooms that he used to share with his wife but couldn't stay in upon the death of his loved one.

After their room had been prepared they were served their evening meal in the dining room. Erik began to realize that Samantha had not exaggerated her father's wealth. If anything she had understated his worth.

Everything Erik saw was of the finest quality. He began to wonder how he could fit into this place. What could he give Samantha that she couldn't get for herself or ask her father to buy for her?

He had to find a way that he could make himself feel that he had something of value to give Samantha. She had told him that she only needed his love but he needed to know he had something to contribute. He wanted to be able to give her and their baby the things they needed with money he had earned himself. What he already had would be considered a healthy bank account but he felt the need to prove himself as a man by rivaling any man Samantha had ever known.

He had thought that the gold coins he had would be enough. Indeed they would have been if he didn't have to compete with the wealth of Samantha's father. He knew Mike didn't mind that he had so little to give Samantha, but his male pride wouldn't accept what Erik considered charity from Mike. He would make his own way or die trying. Samantha would be proud of him if it was the last thing he did.

Erik had never worried about money before. He had got most of what he had needed by stealing what he wanted and later he had made the owner of the theatre pay him a monthly wage, a heavy sum to be sure. Twenty thousand francs per month.

Erik had begun to feel guilty about taking the money, but now he was glad that he had. Coming to Samantha penniless would have unmanned him.

Samantha brought him from his own thoughts by speaking to him.

"There is so much I want to show you. We can take one of the carriages and I'll show you all the places I liked to hide when I was little. I wish we could ride, but I guess that isn't such a good idea right now. I'll introduce you to the one horse Dad was never able to ride. Satan threw him every time he got on his back. He wanted to put him down, but I wouldn't let him. It wasn't his fault he was mistreated so badly by his previous owner. He may still prove to be a good stud if we can ever get him to be just a little more approachable. Right now he won't even let any mare's near him."

Erik didn't know that Satan was to help him obtain the future he wanted. The two would have an affinity that no one could understand, except perhaps someone who had been through the same hell as Erik and Satan. Both had felt the sting of a whip across their back, spent days without food or water only to be revived so the hellish nightmare could start all over again.

"Erik I'm tired. I think I'll take a nap. Will you be long?"

"I'll be up in few minutes. I just want to get a little fresh air. I'll be up shortly."

Samantha went up to their room and got ready for bed. She had hoped that Erik would come with her. She knew he was feeling a little overwhelmed and intimidated by her father's wealth. He just needed to find a way to provide for her as he felt he should. To this end she had mentioned Satan. She knew that if anyone could tame Satan it would be Erik. After all he had been extremely patient with her. She knew she hadn't been a pleasant person to be around these past few weeks.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the very person she had been thinking about. As Erik entered the room he saw Samantha standing beside the bed. She had been brushing her hair but stopped when he entered the room.

The gown she wore was sheer and allowed him to see all that was underneath the material. He walked toward her and took the brush from her hand and turned her so that her back was to him. He began to softly brush her hair. She felt him brush her hair and then felt him push the hair aside so that he could feather kisses along her neck. He turned her toward him and kissed hergently on the mouth.

He leaned her back onto the bed without breaking contact with her lips. He reluctantly released her mouth and began to remove his clothes. he didn't turn her eyes from him. She never did. She always watched him. It amazed him that she could be comfortable looking at him as she was now. He joined her after he had extinguished all the candles so that they were in

darkness.

He moved to her and she was eager to let him do as he wanted.

"I love you Erik."

"And I love you."

They needed no more words. They let their bodies say it all. They were both tender and in no hurry to end their pleasure. They knew how to please each other and they did so.

They were laying in the afterglow of lovemaking when Samantha suddenly raised up from the bed and called out his name in excitement.

"Erik, hurry! Give me your hand."She reached out her hand out to him and he placed his hand into hers.

"Feel", she ordered him and placed his hand on her stomach. He could feel soft little flutters against her skin thrumming gently into his palm.

Erik looked at her questioningly. He didn't know that the movement he felt was his tiny baby inside her making them aware that he was there and would soon make his way into the world.

"Our baby Erik. Our baby moving inside me. Isn't it wonderful?"

He had not felt tears upon his face since Christine had left him and hurt him so badly. The tears running down his face now were the tears of a man who had gone from having nothing to having everything. He didn't want her to know he cried. He wanted her to think he was stronger than that. Erik had never learned that even strong me cry when emotions are strong such as love or sorrow.

Her hand upon his face gave him away. He turned toward her and they wrapped their arms around each other. She reassured him that it wasn't weak to show how much you cared it was a strength. She told him how her father always cried when a new foal was born or when she gave him a special gift for no reason other than she loved him.

"Has the baby ever moved before?"

"No, I would have told you. I want us to share as much as we can of the growth of our baby. I want you to be a part of everything."

Erik took her into his arms and held her tightly. Quietly he told her to go to sleep. Long after she had fallen asleep he laid next to her with his hand on the mound housing his child waiting for his child to move again. Erik moved and laid his head where his hand had been and spoke to his child as if it could hear and understand him. He promised that he would always love and protect him or her and never let anyone harm it.

He promised he would give to it all that his own parents had never given to him. His child would never cry in the night for someone to give him comfort. His child would know the gentlest touch. No blows that bruised and left him feeling unloved and alone. No child of his would spend lonely nights with only darkness for comfort. His child would only know the warm glow of light from the two people who gave him life along with a doting grandfather and several surrogate uncles.

"I promise you that you will never in your life know of the terrible cruelties I have known since I was born. Only your mother has stood beside me and made me feel I am a person and not a monster to be feared. No matter how you come into the world, perfect or not, just know that we will always love you."

Samantha had been wakened by the sound of Erik's voice. He was talking to the baby as if it were here. The things he said broke her heart, because she knew that Erik was reliving all the pain he had lived through as a child. It broke her heart to hear the things he was saying. Knowing that all he wanted was to protect his child from the kind of things that had happened to him long ago. She wished again as she had many times before that she could have been the one he met first. She wished she could have spared him that pain. His pain was her pain now.

She again thanked Christine for giving the little comfort that she had even though she hurt him in the end. If she hadn't left him Samantha would never have met him, never loved him, never conceived his child.

"I thank you Christine for being so foolish to let him go. He's mine now and I'll never let him go,"she whispered.

She heard Erik murmur a sleepy "I love you."

She laid her hand on his head and returned his whispered words of love.

As if the baby felt left out he began to kick. These kicks were stronger than before.

Samantha didn't know when she had started to think of the baby as being a boy, but she felt in her heart that she carried Erik's son.

She could see a little boy who would look as Erik should have looked if God had not distorted a portion of his face.

United in an unbreakable bond of love they would face all comers and claim their rightful place in the world.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Samantha woke first the next morning. For once she didn't have the feeling that she was going to be ill. In fact she felt quite well and energetic. She bounded out of bed and went take a long relaxing bath.

Samantha had always loved to bathe with lots of bubbles. The bathtub was about to overflow. She felt someone looking at her and opened her eyes to see Erik standing beside the tub and knew her lonely bath was over. She reached her hand out to him and he took it. He stepped into the bath behind her and sank down under the water. They should feel shy to be completely naked but neither felt the least uncomfortable being on display for the person they loved.

He took the sponge that lay beside the tub and began to wash Samantha, more of a slow exploration really. He washed every inch that he could reach with slow deliberation.

When Samantha could stand no more she took the sponge from him and turned to face him. She wrapped her legs around him and he closed his eyes and groaned knowing that he was going to be tortured so sweetly that it would be a pleasure he would endure.

Later they finally made their way down to the breakfast table.

Samantha ate several helpings of everything. It was as if she were trying to eat all the food she had missed the past few months.

Erik watched with concern because he remembered other times when she had tried to eat in the morning. Relief washed over him when Samantha suffered no ill effects from indulging in the large quantity of food she had consumed.

Samantha had dressed as she did when she was aboard ship. She said it was much easier to get around in pants than in a dress besides being able to use a bit of string to lengthen the waistband. Secretly she couldn't wait to visit the shops and buy some new feminine clothes designed to catch the eye of young men. The only eyes that interested her were Erik's and she felt confident he kept a close eye on her.

"Erik, we need to go shopping soon. I had to borrow a pair of pants from Flynn."

Flynn was the husband of their cook Mrs. Flynn. They called him by his last name because when Samantha was little she couldn't say all of his name so she just said Flynn. That is what everyone called him.

"I want to show you around first. If we still have time we can go to town later."

Samantha was showing Erik around the stables when they heard a rider approaching. It was a man on a big black horse.

Samantha ran to the man before he could stop his mount and launched herself into his arms. She did not see Erik's scowl nor the clenching of his jaw.

"Luke it's so good to see you. How have you been since I've been gone? Come on I want you to meet someone."

Samantha pulled Luke along behind her toward Erik. Erik looked far from happy. She would have seen this if she had looked at him, but she was talking to Luke.

"Luke, this is my husband Erik Devereau."

Because Samantha turned toward Erik she missed the look of disgust that was quickly hidden behind a fake smile on Luke's face.

Erik had seen the look. It was the look he had gotten when he had been on display for everyone to look at and laugh at. How well disgust from others had been forever burned into his brain.

Erik did not want to shake the hand that Luke extended to him. For Samantha he gritted his teeth and clenched his jaw and took Luke's hand.

What should have been a friendly handshake became a test of strength. Neither man wanted to be the first to give up. Finally Luke let go of Erik's hand. Erik gave Luke a triumphant smile and wrapped his arm around Samantha. He bent and kissed her cheek. A deadly enemy had been earned for Erik.

The gesture was not lost on Luke. He knew Erik was claiming Samantha as his and letting him know to keep away from her.

That he didn't plan to stay away from her was clear in the look he gave Erik as he pulled Samantha away to show her his new stallion.

Samantha looked back at Erik in confusion. He seemed to dislike Luke for some reason. She tried to get him to join in the conversation, but he seemed determined to dislike Luke so she gave up.

After having gotten an invitation to dinner Luke left them alone.

Erik was not looking forward to tonight's meal. If it wouldn't give Luke free access to Samantha he would have pretended to be ill.

"It's still early. Let's go shopping. I guess Luke couldn't tell I'm pregnant in Flynn's baggy clothes. I want to get something that shows everyone that I'm about to be a mother. I want everyone to know."

Erik's consent sounded less than enthusiastic. She supposed it would be hard for him to be among so many people and feel their stares. She hoped that with her by his side he would gain confidence.

"Let's find Dad and see if he wants to go with us. He can visit his friends and catch up. I wonder how Luke knew we were home. I guess Mrs. Flynn told Luke's housekeeper. They do like to gossip. By tonight everyone will have a visit from one or both of them."

They headed toward the house. Erik felt a little better because Samantha was proud to be carrying his child and wanted everyone to know.

Mike decided he would go into town with them. He said he would keep Erik company and he could take him around town while they waited for Samantha.

Samantha told them to come back for her in a couple of hours. They left her and went to attend to their own business.

Erik told Mike that he needed to go to a bank. He needed to exchange the few gold coins he had brought to town with him. He wanted to buy Samantha a ring. They didn't have one when they got married but he wanted her to have one, especially now, with Luke circling around her like a shark after a tasty meal and Samantha was the main course.

On the way back Samantha showed him all the places she used to hide when she was little and needed a place to go to work out her problems. The most special place was a grove of willow trees that hide a small pond. The pond had a natural spring that her father had piped into a basin for drinking water. The water overflowed into the pond.

She told him that this was the place where her mother had died. Her father had looked for her for the whole day and never saw her under one of the trees where she had cried herself to sleep. Someone from town had made some comments that hurt her deeply. Being ill and susceptible to sickness Samantha's mother had become very ill.

"Do you remember your mother Erik?"

"I only vaguely remember her. What I remember most is watching her walk away. She never looked back even though I cried out to her. She was never a loving mother, but she was all I knew. I cried the first night so long that I was beaten and told that I should be glad I was with them because my mother had wanted to drown me. I don't know if this was true, but to a small boy it was devastating. I lost all hope and gave into all that they wanted me to do."

Drawing a deep painful breath he continued, "One night I couldn't stand the abuse anymore and killed the man who had tormented me for five long years. I was only five when my mother abandoned me.

"Madame Giry helped me to escape. I sometimes wonder why she didn't try to help me fit into the life of the theatre. Instead, I was in a dark prison from a young boy and then as man."

Samantha felt so much anger at all the people who hurt him. She could imagine him as a small boy calling for a mother who never came. Wanting a caress from a kind hand, only to receive a beating. Her heart ached for that small boy. Sometimes she thought she saw that small boys hurt and loneliness when he spoke of the life he had before. She wanted to hold that little boy and tell him that she was there for him and that she would love him. She couldn't help that small boy. But she could help the man he had become.

She took his hand in hers and they walked back to the house where her father was waiting for them.

"I thought you two might have changed your mind about lunching with me."

"No, we just got side tracked by Luke. He's coming to dinner this evening. He has a new horse. A real beauty, but not as beautiful as Satan. What did you think of our Satan Erik?"

"He's a fine animal. If you wouldn't mind I'd like to try to work with him."

"If you can tame that beast you can have him. He's been a thorn in my side since the day I bought him."

"Now you two had better hurry if you want to make it home before dark."

"Well Dad, Erik and I thought you might like to join us. Keep Erik company while I do the boring stuff like shopping for new gowns."

For once Erik was not the center of attention when among others. No one pointed, screamed or fainted. They took it in stride as so many others had similar scaring or worse since the war. There would always be those who stared or made comments but they were the ones who did not count. As long as Samantha and her father saw him only as a man he could be happy.

On the ride home Erik kept touching the ring he had in his pocket. It was perfect for Samantha, a diamond in the center surrounded by red rubies. Samantha loved the color red.

He planned to give it to her not because Luke would be there and see the ring. He wasn't giving it to her to show Luke that she belonged to him. At least that's what Erik told himself as they pulled in front of the house.

Erik said a few silent curses when he saw that Luke was already there waiting for them. It seemed he couldn't wait to see her again. Erik couldn't blame him for wanting Samantha, but he shouldn't make it so obvious. Perhaps he was the only one who saw the lust in Luke's eyes when he looked at Samantha.

Erik thought Luke would never go home. He hadn't gotten a chance to give Samantha the ring yet. Tonight he would give it to her regardless whether or not Samantha's old flame witnessed the event.

Luke had convinced them that they had to have a party to celebrate their marriage. All their friends would want to congratulate them. They had decided that they would set the date for the party in two weeks.

Erik wondered how many of Samantha's friends would think she had gotten such a great bargain that it deserved congratulations.

When they were back in their room that night Erik took Samantha's hand led her to a chair where he asked her to sit down. He then bent down on his knees before her. He then took the ring from his pocket. For some reason he felt nervous.

"Samantha will you wear this ring as the symbol of my love and my promise to be faithful to only you?"

"Oh, Erik it's beautiful. Of course I'll wear it."

She then stood up and took his hand and helped him to his feet. He thought she was going to kiss him or at least hug him, but she did neither. She pushed him into the chair and got down on her knees as he had.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small box. She opened it and he saw that it contained a gold wedding band.

"This ring my grandmother gave to my grandfather when they were married. Will you wear it as a symbol of my love and my promise to be faithful to you?"

Erik's throat was constricted with the emotion he felt and his voice was a deep growl as he told her,"Yes."

He got down with her and laid her on the carpet and kissed her. His kiss deepened as he felt her response.

She tore her lips from his and gasped for breath.

"Normally it might be exciting to make love on the floor, but unless you want to cripple me we should move to the bed."

With a slight laugh he picked her up and carried her to the bed. She noticed he was laughing more lately. When he reached the bed there was no more time for talk.

The next morning he was lying in bed and watched Samantha dress and brush her long beautiful hair. He had never thought himself a lustful man. He had wanted Christine, but, it wasn't this burning need he felt for Samantha. When he hadn't been with Christine his music was there for him. Somehow he knew that if he couldn't ever have Samantha again his music would not comfort him.

Samantha looked over at Erik on the bed. She recognized the look on his face and shook her head no.

"We need to get down for breakfast. I want to show you around the inside the house and show you one room I know you will love."

"Well if you're sure you won't join me I guess I'll get up too. You're a hard woman Mrs. Devereau."

As he got out bed Samantha ran to the door. She looked back and smiled.

"I don't trust you when you have that look."

"You wound me Samantha and what look are you talking about?" he asked innocently.

"Never mind. I'll meet you downstairs."

Mike and Samantha were discussing the upcoming party. He should have stayed upstairs a little longer. The party where he would have to be cordial to Luke was not a subject he wanted to listen to while he ate his breakfast.

Erik was glad when the meal was over and Samantha took him around and showed the home that she had been born in. The special room she wanted to show him she saved for last.

She opened the door and revealed a few chairs scattered around. In one corner of the room he saw a grand piano.

"I know you haven't played anything for quite some time, but, when you're ready I wanted you to know it's here. Maybe you could teach me to play. My mother played and she was teaching me. I haven't played since she died."

"Thank you Samantha. I do miss the music."

They left and went to go to the stables where Erik talked and worked his quiet magic on Satan. The horse wasn't ready to let him touch h[m yet. He did prick his ears and listened to the sound of Erik's voice. She knew what the horse was feeling as Erik spoke to him. It was the same hypnotic and soothing voice he used when he made love to her.

Samantha hadn't really thought about it much but Erik had a beautiful voice. With his voice and musical talent it was a shame that he had been given a face that caused him so much pain. The world missed a great talent when it shunned him.

"That's enough for today. He needs time to adjust to the idea that I'm a friend."

Just he was about to ask Samantha to go for a walk with him he saw Luke come riding up to the stables.

"Samantha, Mother sent me over to get you so that I could bring you over for a long visit. She wants to catch up on everything that has happened in the months you've been away."

He turned to Erik.

"You won't mind if I steal Samantha away for a visit with my mother will you? It's been so long since Mother had a good gossip session."

Erik minded a hell of a lot. Especially because of the inference that he wanted to steal Samantha away.

"No, of course Samantha can go if she feels up to it."

He was shamefully hoping she would have a bout of morning sickness. His luck wasn't that good.

After they had returned to the house Samantha left with Luke in the carriage with his horse tied behind. Erik willed Samantha to turn back. As if she could feel his thoughts in her mind she turned and blew him a kiss good-bye.

To say that the evening was long was an understatement. To pass the time he went to the music room. At first the music he played was loud angry music. When he thought of Samantha he began to play more something more soothing.

He became so engrossed in the music that he hadn't realized that the light was almost completely gone from the room. He stood up and turned to leave. He didn't know that Samantha was in the room until she spoke his name.

"Erik that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I'm glad you can play again. You're very good, much better than I could ever be. I wonder if you have passed on your talents to your son. He sure pounds a rhythm inside me all day long."

"You're sure this is a boy?" As he spoke to her he walked to her and laid his hand where she nestled his baby.

"Woman's intuition. I feel like there is a little boy in there. Let's go to bed. I'm tired."

As if in agreement he felt the baby give a healthy kick. He laughed and they made their way up the stairs,

He wanted to ask about her visit, but, he didn't. He was just glad to have her back with him.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I warned everyone this story was one of my first and very raw. When I went over the last chapter I did notice I had Erik's last name different. I started to change it then decided to see if someone discovered my error. Well someone did indeed catch the error. Erik's last name should have been Devereau but in this chapte it is Lucerne. When I first started this Erik's name was Marcus Lucerne. Once I learned the Phantom was known as Erik I began changing the names. Missed some. Correction, I think I missed quite a few. Hats off to those who call me on my errors. Maybe some day I'll go back and change things. Heck I know I will as I can't stand sloppy writing. I caught another error when I went back to fix the other one. I had left Marcus where it should have been Erik. All fixed. Well, not all but enough for now. **

**I've been without my internet for 4 days. Finally got them to fix it. Now I can start posting again. Have to get used to the new setup on my account. Different from the last time I logged in. Just got used to the old one. **

**Chapter Thirteen**

The night of the celebration arrived and yet Erik did not find one thing the least bit celebratory about it. He knew Samantha was happy to spend time with her friends. She said that she wanted everyone to meet him. He knew she saw him differently than others did. To her he was the father of her child and her husband.

It had been a long time since he had worn evening clothes. Where once he had felt comfortable in them he now felt constricted and confined. Looking in the mirror he turned so that the left side of his face was showing in the mirror. He looked normal until he turned and the right side of his face was revealed.

Samantha looked beautiful. At seven months she definitely looked pregnant. He wondered what everyone would say about the man Samantha had chosen for a husband and that their union had resulted in a child.

Both Mike and Samantha took a turn reassuring him and asking that he give everyone a chance to get to know him. For their sakes that is exactly what he planned to do.

The evening was better than Erik had expected it to be. Many of the guests thought he had been injured in a war. Neither he nor Samantha disabused them. They were more excepting of him if they thought he was injured defending something he believed in even if it wasn't for the country he now lived in.

The fact that everyone reacted positively to him seemed to irritate Luke. The remarks he made were meant to bait Erik. Erik refused to let Luke ruin this evening for Samantha. He ignored the barbs about his looks. That Luke held Samantha too close when they danced together Erik pretended not to see.

Luke seemed to be dinking a lot. Every time Erik happened to see him he had a drink. He was becoming bolder with Samantha. During one dance he saw Samantha push him away. She then left him standing on the dance floor alone.

Restraint at that moment must have won several marks in the column marked restitution. Erik danced with Samantha and several of the older women. He didn't have the courage to ask the younger women. Truthfully he didn't want to be with anyone except Samantha.

Erik found himself by the open doors that led into the garden. He stepped into the night and breathed in the cool fresh air. So much cigar smoke mixed with a hundred plus crush of people did not make for fresh air to breathe.

He heard a step behind him and turned toward the sound. Luke was standing there. He drained the glass in his hand and threw the glass onto the stones at his feet.

"You think you've won don't you? Well you haven't. She'll soon get over the pity she feels for you. How could she want you? You probably forced yourself on her and got her pregnant so she would have to marry you. When she comes to me I'll take her and have your demon seed cut from her body. The thought of your hands on her sickens me. She can't love you. She loves me and always has. She'll come back to me.

Erik didn't know how he controlled himself. He calmly went to Luke and stood in front of him. He raised his left hand and showed Luke the ring on his finger.

"Samantha gave this to me and pledged her love and faithfulness to me. Samantha is with me because she chooses to be. She shares my bed each and every night. She comes to me for fulfillment. She loves me and the baby she carries."

Inhaling an angry breath Erik continued, "Don't ever threaten my child again or I will kill you. Leave my home before we both regret this night any more than we do already."

Luke made a move as if to leave. Instead he hit Erik with his closed left fist. Erik staggered back, but, he recovered quickly. He came back at Luke with a fist to his right cheek. Luke fell back a few steps. After that fists were flying and the only other sounds were the sounds of the two men grunting and groaning as they each gave and received punches.

Erik felt a pair man's hands on his upper arms holding him back. He resisted until he saw Samantha standing looking at him with a look of confusion on her face.

The person who had taken hold of Erik was Mike. He still had hold of Erik as if afraid he would throw another punch at Luke.

Mike whispered conversationally into Luke's ear, "Before anything gets said that shouldn't I want you both to know that I was having a breath of fresh air and heard your conversation. Luke, out of respect for your mother and father we'll just let everyone think it was just a disagreement that got out of hand because you both had too much to drink. You should stay away for a while Luke. If I had my way you wouldn't ever come back. I don't want to see Samantha hurt so we'll let it go at that. Now shake hands and look as though the misunderstanding is over."

The two men barely touched hands before letting go as if touched by a hot iron.

Thankfully no one had been close enough to hear what Mike had said. The quests didn't seem inclined to stay after this. Samantha was kept busy saying her good-bye's to everyone.

As soon as everyone had left she went to stand in front of Erik. She looked into his bruised face and bleeding lip and stepped forward to wrap her arms around his waist.

"I'm sorry that Luke was such a fool tonight. I don't know what was wrong with him. He was behaving oddly all evening. Let's go upstairs so I can clean you up. Your poor face is going to hurt tomorrow. Your lip is already swelling. Did you get a few good hits in? I didn't see Luke when he left," said Samantha.

Erik took the hand she held out to him. He couldn't believe how calm Samantha was. The fact that she wasn't mad at him was a relief, an almost unbelievable moment of trust on her part.

Upstairs in their room she had him lay on the bed. She brought a basin and a washcloth back with her. She gently wiped his face.

"Does that feel a little better?"

"I think you might need to kiss it better. It hurts horribly."

She asked him where he hurt. He pointed to the places where he had been hit and then to places that looked perfectly fine to Samantha, but, she kissed him anyway. Before long kisses weren't enough for either of them.

"Erik what really happened tonight? I can't believe you fought over a silly disagreement. What was the disagreement about?"

"Samantha, let's just let it go. We both had too much to drink and I can't remember what was said that started the fight. It's over. We shook hands and all is forgiven." Silently Erik said, "Like hell it's forgiven."

Samantha knew he wouldn't say anything more so she let it go as he suggested. She had other things to keep her occupied. he showed them to Erik during the night. The doctor advised they forgo intimacies soon. She hadn't mentioned that point to Erik yet. For now they would store up as many memories then work on concocting ways to seek fulfillment without actually doing the deed. After a while they both fell into an exhausted sleep.

Samantha woke and felt restless. She was cramping in her stomach and her back was aching. She got up from the bed and put her robe on. She felt a slight wetness running down her leg.

Dear God no! Not now! It was too soon.

Samantha went into the bathroom and struck a match and lit the lantern. She pulled her robe aside and saw the red blood going down her leg. It was too soon for the baby. She was only seven months. Please God not my baby. Tears were running down her face when she went to awaken Erik. She prayed their rigorous lovemaking had not brought this on.

Erik woke to see Samantha standing beside the bed. There were tears running down her face and she was sobbing so hard he couldn't understand what she was saying. She pulled her robe aside and he saw the blood. His heart felt as if it stopped beating for a few seconds then began to pound in his chest.

Erik sprang from the bed and picked her up and put her on the bed unmindful of the bloody mess she would make of the sheets and blankets. Nothing mattered except Samantha and the baby. He couldn't bear to lose either of them.

"Go wake father and Mrs. Flynn."

Mike went for the doctor. Erik wouldn't leave Samantha's side. He could feel the sobs that were lodged in his chest rising. His chest felt as if a hand were inside squeezing his heart. He felt the tears begin to fall. He held Samantha and tried to reassure her, but he needed someone to tell him that it would be alright. How could he reassure his wife when he dare not put his faith in the hands of others? God had always turned his back on Erik.

Mike returned with the doctor. Naturally he asked everyone to leave except Mrs. Flynn. At first Erik refused to leave. Mike told him that it was better to let the doctor take care of Samantha.

They waited in the hall for the doctor to tell them if Samantha would be alright and if she would lose the baby. It seemed as if they waited hours for the door to open. At last the doctor came out. His face was grave. Erik wanted to strike out at some unknown force that seemed to take joy in his torture.

"I've stopped the bleeding. She hasn't lost the baby yet. The next few hours will determine if she will carry the baby to full term or not. I gave her a sedative. She should rest for a while now. You all should try to rest. She'll need you later."

He didn't say that she would need them later if she lost the baby, but they all knew.

Erik left them and ran down the stairs. He continued out the door. He didn't feel the cold September night air. He went to the stables. Once there he let out his rage and anger at whatever it was that took everything from him. He cursed God and all the Fates that had worked against him even when he was in his mother's womb. The fates or God had given him this curse and were still making him suffer. Maybe this was his punishment for all the sins he had committed.

He silently prayed for God not to take the life of his unborn child or Samantha. If any retribution had to be paid let it be his burden to pay and not the two innocents he loved more than life itself.

The thought of never seeing his child or holding him made the anger inside him boil over and he began to pick up whatever he could lay his hands on and throw them against the walls. Great sobs tore from his throat. When his strength gave out he slumped to the floor of the stables. He bargained with God to spare his child and take him. He was the one who had committed many sins. He had murdered men in his rage. He destroyed everything just to be able to have a woman who didn't want him.

"My life for my for the life of my wife and my child," he bargained.

Erik stayed there until Mike came and told him that the doctor wanted to speak to them. He made no comment about the shambles in the stables or the things that had been thrown and broken.

The doctor looked less grim this time. Cautiously he told them that she and the baby seemed to have pulled through this crisis. The baby seemed to have a healthy heartbeat. Samantha would need more rest and not overtire herself. He was a little concerned because Samantha was already quite big and was only seven months. He suspected more than one child lie beneath Mrs. Devereux's breast.

When the doctor left Erik went into their room. Samantha looked so pale. He slowly approached the bed. He wanted to hold her,but didn't know if he should. Samantha solved his dilemma by reaching her hand out to him. He took her outstretched hand and she pulled him to lie beside her.

Erik pulled her close and laid his hand upon the place where he knew his son was safely waiting to enter the world.

"Is this my fault? Did I upset you with my behavior tonight?" Not able to come right out and ask if his lovemaking caused her near miscarriage he phrased it as delicately as he knew how.

She put her fingers over his mouth.

"It isn't anyone's fault. It just happened. Don't ever blame yourself. Erik you look worse than I feel. Get some sleep."

Erik was afraid if he closed his eyes he would lose everything. He had lost so much that he wanted to keep watch over and protect the two people who held his heart. He eventually fell into a restless sleep. Many times throughout the night he would awaken and look at Samantha and lay a protective hand on the place where his child was growing.

With every awakening he repeated his offering to God in the hope that this time God would hear his prayer and be merciful.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Boredom with her own company and this room in particular assailed Samantha. Erik stayed with her as much as he could. Her father stayed with her when Erik was needed in the stables. She tried to occupy herself with plans for the baby. Erik seemed to be out a lot of the time the past week or so. When she questioned him he gave her vague answers. If she didn't know he loved her she would have been suspicious.

Thinking about the birth reminded her that she wanted to ask Erik how old he was and when his birthday was. It had never occurred to her to ask him before. When he came to see her in the afternoon she asked him her questions.

"Erik how old are you and when is your birthday?" she asked.

"My mother never celebrated my birth so I can only guess. I marked time by the passage of days not years. I think I'm about thirty. As for a month and year therein lies a mystery."

That Erik never had a celebration for the day of his birth bothered her. He was so worthless in his mother's eyes she didn't even allow him to know the day he was born. She again cursed his mother for the heartless person she had to be. _I'll celebrate your birthday she silently vowed._ _I'm glad you were born._

Erik hadn't meant to make her sad. He gave her the only answers he had. Sympathy for his pain had not been something anyone felt toward him. Samantha's tender heart took his pain as her own.

Before he left she told him to dress for dinner tonight. She was eating downstairs and wanted it to be a special evening. She didn't tell him that she was planning the special evening for him. Arguements against coming down were met with her doctors assurance that if she were careful spending part of the day downstairs would not harm her or the baby as long as part of that time would be spent comfortably ensconced in a very comfortable chair with her feet up. For the freedom of the downstairs Samantha would put up with unnecessary pampering.

When Erik returned that evening he went straight to their room. Samantha wasn't there. He supposed she was downstairs. He could not help but smile as he remembered those first few days when Samantha dare not place one foot on the floor for is she did Mike threatened to have Erik's innards for breakfast. Controlling Samantha as Mike well knew was not easy task. Everyone knew Erik's wife had him in the palm of her hand. He was unmolded clay in that dainty hand.

When Erik entered the dining room it was dark. He wondered where everyone was and why no one had lit the lamps or at least the tapers on the table.

The door that led to the kitchen opened and he saw Samantha and her father come through the door. Samantha carried a cake that had a huge amount of candles on it. Precariously perched in Samantha's lap the cake wobbled as Mike pushed a wheelchair they must have borrowed from the doctor. Mr. and Mrs. Flynn brought up the rear of the procession. Mr. Flynn was carrying a saddle.

They all shouted happy birthday to him, congratulated him and wished him well. Confusion warred with pleasure on his face. In the end he gave into the pure pleasure to know he had so many people in his life caring whether he received acknowledgement for the day of his birth.

They lit more candles and Samantha kissed his cheek, Mike shook his hand heartily while slapping him soundly on the shoulder and Mr. and Mrs. Flynn bowed respectfully as wide smiles spread across their faces. The elderly couple had taken a shine to the new family member.

"Let's eat dinner, I want cake," said Samantha.

"I hope you like your saddle Erik. It was supposed to be a Christmas present. Daddy picked it up today. It's a little different from the saddles you are used to using. It's a western style saddle. You'll be a real cowboy soon, if Satan ever lets you on his back."

Erik didn't tell them that he had been riding Satan bareback for a few weeks now. He had wanted to give her a surprise of his own. When he got Satan used to him on his back he would then show her that he had gotten Satan to trust him. He wanted her to feel proud of him. His pride wouldn't let him take from her father much longer. He would build his future with Samantha.

They had finished their meal when Samantha asked if he would play for them. He couldn't refuse her anything so he said "Yes".

The music he played was so beautiful that Samantha felt as if she wanted to cry. She didn't know that the tears were already falling down her cheeks.

Erik hadn't meant to make her cry. He had only wanted to please her.

"Erik that was wonderful. I don't think I have ever heard that piece before. Who wrote it?" Samantha asked.

Modestly he bowed his head and whispered, "I did. I wrote it for you."

"Thank you Erik. I think your son liked it too. He seems to be having his own party in here." She put her hand on the growing mound where her flat stomach used to be. Erik went to her and put his hand beside hers. Neither one seemed to notice that her father had slipped out of the room.

"Now you have a birthday Erik. October the thirtieth will always be your special day."

"No, my special day was when you came into my life. You gave me a life, a reason to go on, to look to the future. Before you I had nothing. Now I have everything. I'm almost afraid to say it out loud for fear that it will all be taken from me."

"We'll be fine. I feel it in here.' She placed her hand on her heart. He hoped she was right.

"We're getting too serious. Let's talk about Thanksgiving."

Erik had never heard of Thanksgiving so he asked what were they giving thanks for. She explained what the holiday meant and that people gave thanks for everything that the good Lord gave them.

"I have much to be thankful for this year," said Erik.

"Erik let's go to bed. I'm very tired." Samantha said sleepily as a yawn overtook her.

When they reached their room they undressed and got ready for bed.

As soon as they were in bed Samantha began to kiss and touch him in the ways she knew he liked. She whispered in his ear what she wanted to do to him and what she wanted him to do her. Erik had refused to make love to her ever since she had almost lost the baby. The doctor had told her that if they were careful they could be together for a few more weeks. Even the doctor had given an embarrassed harrumph having to say such things to a lady. It needed to be said so he forged bravely on laying down the conditions clearly.

"No Samantha. I don't want to take a chance to hurt the baby," he said.

"I don't want to hurt the baby either. I just miss you so much."

Erik knew of other ways to make love to a woman. He had seen it often enough in the backstage of the opera house. He showed Samantha a different kind of loving.

Erik was about to drift into sleep when he heard Samantha speak.

"If we have a boy what do you think of the name Erik Michael? After you and daddy. If we have a girl I'd like to name her Elizabeth Christine. After my mother and after you know who. After all she did let you go so you could find me. Because she was stupid I get the prize."

Only momentarily did he think to protest Christine's supposed lack of intelligence. If Samantha had not distracted him by stating she thought him a prize perhaps he would have mistakenly defended his former student. Luckily for him Samantha had looked beyond what the world saw on the surface.

"I think that as long as you're happy I am too," Erik whispered as he nuzzled her neck making her giggle.

"Good that's settled. Goodnight my love."

"Goodnight Samantha. I love you too. I love you Erik or Elizabeth. Sleep well."

Erik always said goodnight to his unborn child just as if he could hear. Sometimes the baby would give a kick as if to say a goodnight of his own. Erik smiled as he felt the familiar kick.

_One more month and we can say goodnight in person_ he thought. He looked forward to that time. He wondered what his son would look like. He prayed to God that he would have a beautiful, normal child. He thought about a little girl. She would look a lot like her mother. Thoughts of his child always made him feel things he had tried to hide. Things he hid to protect his heart. He found that with Samantha he could open himself up to all the tender emotions he had never felt from anyone and had only begun to show to Christine.

The tenderness he felt for Christine had been destroyed by what he thought had been her betrayal. He was learning to trust again.

From the distance of time and a change in how he viewed himself and the world Erik could see that he had mishandled the innocent Christine had been. Bending a person to your will did not mean love would naturally follow. Love caught you by surprise, filled you to the brim with forceful emotions. Love was give and take, yen and yang as the Chinese put it.

The relationship between the man Erik had been and Christine had been all force of will on his side. He nearly broke the one person who had given him a glimpse of how a normal life should be.

Finding Samantha and her steadfast love gave him more than a glimpse, it showed him the whole picture. Why could he not have it all? For once in his life it did not appear to be just out of his grasp.

Samantha and the life they shared felt solid and permanent. Did he tempt fate by complacently accepting this new life?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

The weather had turned cold and it had begun to snow. Erik loved to look out and see the pristine white that covered the ground. It hadn't snowed much, just enough to look as though a sheet had been unfurled as if to make a bed.

After many arguments the doctor had at last given Samantha permission to leave her bed unaided. Actually he washed his hands of her until such time he would be needed to deliver the child. Someone followed in the wake of her nesting spree. Everything had to be made ready to greet their child. Samantha did not take the safety of her child for granted. A great deal of care was given so as not to cause an early delivery.

Samantha was busy making plans for Thanksgiving dinner. She had gotten so big it was hard for her to move around. Erik was glad that it had been her father and not him who had commented on her new waddle. She cried and told him he would waddle too if he had to carry around another person.

Erik had consoled her and reassured her that she was still beautiful. Erik thought she had never looked more beautiful than she did now. Motherhood suited her. It was hard for him to believe that in a few short weeks the baby would be here and he would have a child. He had never thought that he would have that blessing in his life. In fact he never thought to have any of the things he now had.

Erik told Samantha he was going to the stables, He would be there if she needed him.

Samantha wondered what secret Erik was hiding in the stables. He wouldn't allow her to visit him there. He just told her to be patient. She would know in time what he hid from her. Being close to Christmas it might be her present. Curiosity gnawed at her. She waffled from wanting to know immediatley to wanting to be surprised.

Samantha had secrets of her own. She had asked her father to enquire about a mare for Erik. She wanted to give him the mare for Christmas. She knew Erik was hoping to prove Satan to be a valuable stud. He had the bloodlines, he just needed to prove himself in a few competitions. For Erik's sake she hoped he was as good as he thought.

Her father had told her that Erik had taken over the running of the estate and even managed to understand how to keep the financial matters straightened out. He himself had never had a head for written numbers. He was better at using his intuition to invest his money than keeping track of it in a book. He had been glad to hand over the books and all the details of running his estate to the next generation. He now had time to visit friends and catch up on all he had missed while he had been gone. When the baby came he planned to spend much of his time spoiling his new grandchild.

At dinner that evening Erik ate more food than he could ever remember. He had to try everything because he knew that Samantha had prepared the meal especially for him. She wanted to make the meal for him herself. He tasted so many new foods.

"Well, did you like everything?", Samantha asked as they left the dining room

"It was better than anything I have ever had in my life. I'll not be able to eat for a week."

As they did every evening since Erik had played for them, they headed for the music room.

Erik began to play. He played another new piece of music he had written. As he played he began to sing. He had never sung for her before and he wanted to tell her with his music how much she meant to him. He had poured all the love he felt for her into the music he wrote.

Samantha was silent for so long that he turned to look at her. She was struggling to get up from her seat. When she managed to get up she went to him and kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear how much she loved him and the music he had written for her.

"I wondered when you were going to write something just for me. I know you wrote for you know who. I was about to run out of patience with you. After all, she isn't giving you a son."

Wisely Erik refrained from mentioningthat it wasn't for lack of trying on his part that he and Christine never consummated thier relationship.

Samantha refused to say Christine's name. She always referred to her as "you know who". He liked the fact that she was just a little jealous of him. He had never thought anyone would ever care enough for him to be jealous. He would have been happy to have someone show him affection.

Samantha noticed that her father had left them alone. She began to nuzzle Erik's neck. Her hand dropped to his lap.

"You know we can't Samantha. Don't start what we can't finish."

"I can't but you can."

She took his hand and led him to the privacy of their room.

She made Erik feel like he was the most important person in the world. In fact she told him that he was. She caressed him and loved him until he fell into an exhausted sleep.

He woke to find Samantha wasn't beside him. He wondered where she could have gone. He saw a light coming from the room next to theirs. The room that her mother had used on nights when illness overtook her.

He heard Samantha banging around. He wondered what she could be doing at two in the morning. He went to the door and pushed it open. He saw Samantha struggling to remove the sheets and bedspread from the bed. Her stomach hit the bed causing it to move every time she stretched across the mattress.

He ran forward and removed the things from the bed that she had been struggling with.

"What are you doing Samantha? You know you shouldn't be lifting anything so heavy. What are you doing in here?"

"I want to make the baby's nursery in here. I don't want to put him in my old one. It's too far away. I don't want a nanny to care for him. I want to do it myself."

"Alright, but, can't it wait until tomorrow after we get some sleep?" he asked.

"I just feel like I need to be getting ready. We only have a couple more weeks before the baby gets here."

"I promise that I'll be here tomorrow to help. We can get an early start in the morning, Let's go back to bed."

Samantha reluctantly agreed and they went back to bed. Within minutes Samantha was sound asleep.

Erik lay awake thinking of the cradle and rocking horse that he was making to give her for Christmas. He wanted his child to rest his head in a bed that he had made. He wanted to give his child a toy that he had made with his own hands and put all the love he felt into each piece.

Samantha's father had told him that when it came close to her time Samantha would start to nest. She would try to make a comfortable place for her and the baby. She had been doing that for weeks now.

Erik knew how stubborn Samantha could be. When she got an idea in her head there was no stopping her. All he could do was stand back and offer help when he thought she would welcome it.

He couldn't sleep so he got up and decided to have the furniture moved so she could start to make the room ready for her and the baby.

He moved the smaller pieces himself, He waited until a faint light was shining through the windows before he went down to get Mr. Flynn to help him with the heavier furniture.

Samantha woke to hear the sound of activity coming from the next room. There was hammering sounds and then a loud curse from Erik.

She went into the room to find that Erik had removed all the furniture. Erik had moved her old crib from the attic and was trying to put it together. That was how he had hit his thumb with the hammer,

She went to Erik and took his hand and kissed each finger and then looked at him and said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied.

"I'm usually a little more careful. I have used tools before. I guess I'm just a little tired."

He wanted to impress her with his skills and look what he did. Smashed his own thumb with the hammer.

Erik was discovering more about himself all the time. He had never thought about trying to impress a woman before. With Christine he had done what he thought would get what he wanted. He couldn't remember thinking about doing anything for Christine just to impress her. He had always thought in terms of her as being the voice for his music. That he had been attracted to her was secondary to her singing the songs he wrote. He had liked the feeling that she could express in her voice all that he couldn't show the world himself.

More and more he found that Samantha was changing him. He hated it when he remembered the things he had done to ensure that he got what he wanted. If he could change anything he would give back the lives of the men he had killed. He hoped that his child never learned of his past sins.

Samantha's excited voice brought him back from thoughts of his past.

He listened to her plans for the baby's room. He had never loved her as much as did at this moment while he watched her plan and show him where she wanted everything to be placed.

She was disappointed when her father told her that her mother's old rocking chair had been broken and thrown away.

This was something he could give her. Erik had become quite good at making the things he needed to make his home underneath the opera house comfortable. He could even make the clothing for his child if needed. This fact he wouldn't tell her. Somehow in this new world he lived in he didn't think men sewed women's clothing. Perhaps men's clothing but not women's or children's.

Samantha came to him and put her arm around him. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Just think, in a few weeks there will be the cry of a tiny new person in here. It kind of scares me that a tiny little being will be depending on us for everything."

Until she had said she was scared he hadn't thought about the responsibility of bringing a new life into the world. It scared the hell out of him too.

"We'll be fine. If we need advice we can call on your father. Look how you turned out." He didn't know who he was trying to reassure the most her or himself.

"Daddy has already informed me that he intends to spoil his grandchild shamelessly."

Erik hadn't realized how much he was looking forward to having someone call him "Daddy". He imagined what it would sound like when his own child called him "Daddy". His heart swelled with love and pride in the knowledge someone he and Samantha had created would soon be here to share in their love.

Let the dream begin.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I humbly apologize for this late update. Life isn't going so well at the moment and gets in the way of my creativity and posting. This one is almost finished so at least I got through it. I did give myself a few chuckles reading the crude writing of this early offering. I feel I have come a long way over the last few years. Appreciate all who stuck with me on this journey. **

**Chapter Sixteen**

Snow fell and blanketed the ground. Christmas was only a week away. Samantha was starting to get restless. She was overdue by a couple weeks. The baby had gotten so big the doctor told her she would have to stay in bed until she delivered the baby.

To be in bed at Christmastime was not what Samantha wanted at all. She wanted to be there when Erik helped pick the tree. He had never had a tree. He had never celebrated Christmas. For him it had been a lonely time because everyone was with family and he spent his Christmas's in his dark lonely prison.

Samantha's heart ached when she thought of the lonely little boy Erik must have been. No gifts to open. No one to spend the day with. He had only had himself. First as a small lonely boy then as a very lonely man. No wonder he had grasped with both hands what little happiness he could find.

She wondered what other man could have endured what Erik had and remained sane. Erik had to endure his loneliness and the rejection all his life. First by his mother then by Christine. Being of a more generous outlook toward Christine, Samantha saw how hard it must have been for such a young innocent girl to deal with someone of Erik's passionate nature.

Samantha didn't like to think about Christine. She knew that Erik didn't love Christine, at least not as he loved her. She just didn't want to think about the two of them together in any way at all. This emotion did not seem to lesson with time. She could see herself an old woman with white hair still feeling the green-eyed monster come out every time Christine's name was mentioned.

Everyone had left in the early afternoon to seek the perfect tree. She wished everyone would return soon. She felt a little restless. Her back was hurting and she couldn't seem to get comfortable no matter how she lay in the bed. A sudden cramp in her stomach made her face wince. It went away as quickly as it came.

Samantha was starting to wish that she had not told Mrs. Flynn to go ahead and visit her family. She should be back soon. Her daughter just lived outside of town.

Another pain ripped through Samantha. This one was much stronger than the one before and it had only been about five minutes since the last one.

Rubbing her stomach trying to ease the pain she tried not to think this may be her time. Not now little one. Please wait until I have help. The doctor had told all of them what they needed to do just in case the baby decided to come when he couldn't be there. She hadn't thought she would need the things the doctor told them to keep ready.

She struggled out of bed and started toward the dresser where she had put the items she would need. She hadn't gone far when another pain hit her and she fell to the floor in pain. Something was wrong .

"Please Erik come home I need you," she prayed.

She knew he couldn't hear her but he was the one she wanted most right now. The nest pain caused Samantha to loose consciousness. That may be a blessing as the rate of her heart slowed to a dangerous rhythm.

Erik had been feeling uneasy for the last half hour or so. He didn't know what was wrong. He just had the feeling that Samantha needed him. If he tilted his head just so he would swear he heard her voice carried on the wind.

As Mike stood before yet another tree he asked Erik if he thought this one was the one. Erik didn't see much difference in this tree than the other twenty or so they had looked at.

He wanted to go home so he said it looked fine to him. Mike looked as if he might disagree but with a nod of his head signaled for Erik to begin cutting down the tree. Erik took the ax and began to cut the tree. With one last mighty swing of the ax the tree finally fell.

They put the tree in the back of the wagon and headed home. As they headed home Erik made a mental list of all the firsts he would experience this year. Christmas, a Christmas tree, a holiday with family, a new and loving wife with a child on the way. So many things he had never had before he couldn't list them all in a day.

The ride home seemed to take twice as long as the ride out. Erik was cold and he wanted the warmth of his wife beside him. Just the thought of her warmed him.

When they got home Erik didn't even wait to help unload the tree. He went straight upstairs and entered their room. What he found there nearly killed him.

Samantha was on the floor. She seemed to be unconscious. Quickly he went to her and knelt down and scooped her up into his arms. He laid her down on the bed. He didn't want to leave her but he had to get help.

He ran to the top of the stairs and called to the two men. He told them that Samantha was in labor and that he had found her unconscious on the floor. Mr. Flynn said he would ride to town to get the doctor.

Erik and Mike entered the room together. Samantha was awake and turned toward then as they entered the room. Although gripped with by she tried to smile reassuringly for their sakes. In a time when she needed strength she felt weakness in every part of her body. No doubt about if her time had come. The wetness between her legs gave proof if any were needed.

"Erik we don't have much time. The contractions are coming more quickly and are much stronger. One of you will have to help me. The tings we'll need are in the dresser," she said in a wobbly voice as she pointed with a shaking finger.

"Erik she's my little girl, I just can't. Please help her."

For the last few months Mike believed himslelf in total control. Not once did he doubt he could handle anything God saw fit to present in his path. One look at his daughter so weak with much more to be asked of her and he knew this task was beyond him. Mike left them and Erik got what Samantha told him he would need. He would need to have warm water to clean the baby.

"Erik tell father to get the water ready. He needs something to keep him busy."

Even though the pain was tearing through her body she still thought of others. She was amazing. Erik felt his body tighten as if he were the one in pain each time Samantha raised up from the bed with each contraction.

Erik left her only long enough to ask Mike to heat the water. When he returned to Samantha she was in the middle of a gripping pain. It hurt him to see her this way.

"Erik we'll need the towels. I don't think I have much longer."

When he returned Samantha had thrown the blankets aside and she had moved to the end of bed.

Erik was at a loss. This was one thing he had never seen. He had never even seen an animal give birth.

"Hurry Erik. It's time." Using her willpower over any discomfort she might feel gave her the ability to focus on what needed to be done.

Erik moved to the end of the bed and got the first glimpse of his baby. The tiny head was covered with very dark hair. He next saw a small perfect face. Little by little this tiny being made its way into the world.

Erik put his hands on his child for the first time to guide him into the world. With one last push the baby was in Erik's hands. His perfect little boy.

Marcus tied and cut the cord as Samantha told him. He then cleared the fluids from his mouth. He stroked his small son on his tiny smooth back.

"Erik, what's wrong with him he should be crying."

Her frantic question brought him back from his exploration of his perfectly formed son.

That his son hadn't cried made him realize the infant was turning blue. He rubbed his son's back and kissed his little soft cheek and commanded his son to breathe. He whispered in his ear that he loved him. As he cleaned the tiny mouth the tiny lips puckered then opened as if to speak.

To Erik and Samantha it seemed like an eternity but was only a few seconds before they heard his lusty cry of protest to have to leave his warm resting place.

Erik gave Samantha her son to hold. She barely had time to look at him when she was gripped by yet another searing pain.

"Oh God Erik, take him. It hurts so much. What's wrong? It shouldn't hurt anymore."

Erik took the baby from her and laid him on the bed.

What Erik saw when he went check Samantha was another tiny little dark head. They were to be blessed with another tiny little life.

This time the baby started to cry as soon as it felt the cold outside it's mother's womb.

A perfect little girl. So precious that Erik could hardly bear to part with her.

"Our perfect little angels," Erik said later after they had been cleaned and wrapped in blankets.

"When they cry and want to be fed or changed you won't think they're such angels. You should go and get Daddy. He has probably worn a path in the hall."

Mike indeed had been pacing back and forth for what seemed ages. Finally he heard a cry. A short time later he heard the cry again. He was about to enter the room when Erik told him to come in and meet his new grandson and granddaughter.

Mike's chest puffed with pride. Two grandchildren to spoil.

"Meet Erik Michael Lucerne and Elizabeth Christine Lucerne. Meet your new doting grandfather," said Samantha.

Her father was hesitant to hold the tiny infants but Erik couldn't seem to get enough . He held one and then the other.

Erik looked at his children and knew that another faze of his life had begun. The person he had been before had died when his children were born. The Phantom of the Opera was truly dead and in his place Erik Devereau was born. For the first time he wept tears of pure joy.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

The past year had flown by for Erik when all he wanted to do was slow time so he could savor every second to the fullest. He watched his son and daughter play in the floor with their grandfather. It was Christmas and the presents had all been opened and they were relaxing after dinner. Was there a man anywhere filled to the brim with such happiness? He almost feared being this content with life.

The twins staggered around going from one person to another hoping to be picked up. Everyone had been trying for weeks to get them to talk. All that came out was gurgles, squeals and spittal. He did not mind the drooling as much as he thought he would.

Constantly Erik coached them to say daddy, Samantha tried to get then to say momma, and of course their grandfather wanted them to say grandpa.

Erik left the doorway where he had been leaning and moved into the room. He could no longer stand to be on the outside of the mayham. The tiny puppy given to the children by their grandfather at first brought a frown to Samantha's face. She could see more interrupted nights putting O.G. out numerous times during the night. Funnily enough it had been Samantha to name the dog once it had licked every inch of her face and she decided it might be good for the children to grow up with a dog. O.G. stood naturally for Opera Ghost. Fiting as the dog was solid white. Snowball was too provincial according to her. Imagining the children calling out ofr Oggie brough a smile to her lips more than once.

Elizabeth caught sight of her father and started running toward him. She adored her father and he adored her in return. She held her fathers heart in the palm of her tiny little hand. She had almost made it to Erik when she fell.

Erik ran to her and picked her up. He stood up and rocked her back and forth. She stopped crying and looked at him and clearly said dada. Once she saw he was pleased with her she repeated it over and over.

Erik hugged her and told her that daddy's little girl was his sweet angel and that she was so smart to be talking like a big girl. Feeling a tug on his pantleg Erik looked down to see his son Little Erik looking up at him with pitiful eyes. They called him Little Erik for now but knew as he grew to manhood that would change. By then he could decide for himself how he liked to be addressed.

Little Erik couldn't be outdone by his sister. He started to chant dada as his sister Elizabeth had. Being a man who new how to keep everyone happy Erik reached down to scoop his son into his strong fatherly embrace.

Happily carrying his burden he went and sat beside Samantha. He sat with one child on each of his legs.

"It's not fair I nurse you and change you and bathe you. This is how you thank me? You won't even call me momma," Samantha said as she playfully poked each child in their tummy.

"Well what about me. I've been crawling around playing horsy for the past hour. What do I get? Nothing . As soon as Erik comes in the rest of us are just second best, " her father complained.

Mike didn't really mind that his grandchildren loved their father so much. It just reinforced his opinion of Erik. Erik was becoming a very wealthy man. He had worked hard and his venture was beginning to earn him a reputation. Satan had proved to be all that they had hoped and more. Offers poored in every day for Erik to train difficult horses. Soon Satan would be put to stud. A few more wins just to drive up the asking price and they would be on their way. Mike knew he could trust Erik to keep his loved ones safe and happy.

"I always knew you could charm anyone if you really tried. Thankfully you only use your powers on me and the children. I'd hate to become a shrew and beat other women away from you," Samantha only partially joked as a certain soprano came to mind.

Erik didn't think she would ever have to worry about other women. She and his daughter were the only women he had eyes for.

Elizabeth wanted her fathers attention and put her little hands on either side of his face and kissed him on the cheek. Erik resisted the urge to wipe away the wet drool sliding down his cheek. Not for anything would he hurt her feelings. He rarely wore his mask these days. He only wore it when they had company or they went to town.

Erik learned to trust that there were some who accept him as he was and that there would always be those who couldn't see behind his mask to see the man he had become and should have always been, if the world had only treated him as a human being and not a hideous monster.

As long as he had Samantha and his children to remind him that he had finally found his place in the world he could handle anything. He was never lonely anymore. His life was filled with all the love he had missed as a child and as the man who lived alone with only his music as solace.

Erik had become a generous man. He gave money to many charities and gave a helping hand where needed. It was known that the man who wore the mask may look a monster, but, his heart was kind.

Erik had heard that Christine had given birth to a son last year. It was only a few short months after his own children had come into his life. He didn't even feel the sence of loss he used to feel when he thought of Christine. No, he only wished her well and hoped that she would be as happy as he was.

Erik's thoughts were interrupted as they so often were by his children wanting his undivided attention.

"Who wants a cookie? Mrs. Flynn baked them this morning."

"Erik, they just ate," Samantha chastised him.

Erik shrugged his shoulders and said." We want cookies."

Sometimes she caught a glimpse of the little boy Erik should have been. Sometimes, like now, that little boy got to have what he should have had all those years ago. His boyish side was allowed to come out with his children. He was playful and patient. He was a wonderful father and husband. He was a wonderful man.

Life was good.

**A/N: Please leave a review. I sure could use the boost to my moral.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Erik stood and watched his family celebrate another Christmas. His family had grown quite large through the years. He had five children. Four boys and his one precious girl, Elizabeth. His children had given him six grandchildren.

Samantha's father had lived long enough to see her children grow up and marry and start their own families.

Last year they had read in the papers about Christine's death. Her death reminded Samantha that they had another faze of Erik's life they needed to put to and Erik were leaving in a few days for France. The country Erik had left all those years ago. America had been good to and for him. He still felt some attachment to France but America had been his home all these years. Some day he would die here then be placed in the ground of his adopted country.

Their children couldn't understand why this trip was so important. Their father never even spoke of the life he had left in France. Of course they all knew of it to difffering degrees. They didn't like to speak of it where Erk or Samanta might overhear anything although sometimes it didn't seem as if either would really mind.

The day of their departure was hectic. They had spent the night in the hotel. All their children and grandchildren were there to wish them a safe journey and tell them that they would be missed.

The voyage was uneventful and upon arriving in France they found where Christine had been laid to rest.

It was Samantha who suggested that they took one red rose wrapped in black ribbon. Naming their daughter for Christine gave silent proof that Erik's wife did not doubt his love or fear losing him any longer. The ribbon held the ring that Christine had given back to him all those years ago. At the grave sight Erik placed the ribbon on the base of the headstone. He said a final good-bye and thank you for all the comfort she had given him.

They were about to leave when Erik turned back. He pulled Samantha behind a tall monument. He looked and saw the man put the music box that had belonged to Erik down where the rose lay bright red against the dullness of the stone.

Erik knew the man was Rauol. That he put something that had belonged to Erik at her grave sight let Erik finally know that Christine and Raoul had forgiven him.

"Is that him Erik?" asked Samantha.

"Yes I believe so."

The man turned to walk away then hesitated and turned to look behind him. He looked directly where they were hidden behind the monument. A few brief seconds passed and then the man left.

"Let's go home Samantha my love."

Erik and Samantha lived the next twenty years in loving bliss. They died within days of each other. Samantha died peacefully in her sleep followed almost immediately by her husband. Erik didn't want to live in a world without Samantha in it.

"The Phantom of the Opera" left this world to rejoin his love and his protege in life beyond death. Tears were shed by those left behind but they were tears only because of missing two such wonderful people, besides they need only look around at the many faces within the family to see both Erik and Samantha looking back at them with loving smiles.

The End

**A/N: Short but I hope sweet. Thank you so much for joining me on another journey with Erik. I will be putting up another story shortly. In the meantime I am goiing to try to continue with my Innocence Lost over at fiction press. Please go take a look and perhaps read and leave a comment.**


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